flow

Your mind is constantly projecting—projecting itself. Your mind is constantly interfering with reality, giving it a color, shape, and form that are not its own. Your mind never allows you to see that which is; it allows you to see only that which it wants to see. -Osho

hence
listening tis a great gift
the grandest gift
to give
and to receive

today
i listened
i let my father speak
although most i’ve heard in times past
but today
it sounded different

through his many roles
provider he deemed of most value
his utmost priority
must provide
at any cost
at all cost

through that
in my perspective
he lost his sight on the prize

who are you providing for
what are you providing for

once upon a time
the drive was simple
to provide for family
to supply an abundance of
so family doesn’t endure hardship
to focus on being one
or so i assume

fast forward a drive-turned habit
habitually unstoppable
can’t stop
won’t stop
shan’t stop
take a deeper look inside
manipura of its utmost imbalance

through providing
you’ve lost unity
through providing
you’ve failed to see anything outside of
through providing
you’ve overcomplicated
through providing
you’ve destroyed
that raw seed of drive
the drive that brought you here today

no matter what happens
from your perspective
its all o k a y
its all e x c u s a b l e
its all w e l l w i t h i n r e a s o n
because at the end of the day
you’re still the provider
and you’re doing the best you can

the irony of life
is it
often the very thing that drives us
becomes the very thing that destroys us
often the very thing that entangles us
becomes the very thing we despise

one thing i did happen to catch
a rare truth of a statement
you admitted fault to parenting
the lack of in each five of us
admitting is the first step
bravo father bravo
it might not be too late

i didn’t interrupt
i watched you move your lips
listened as your thought process unfolded
bare
naked
raw
all that in relation of
communication at its best

how many chances do we get
rare occurrence all the same
life doesn’t stop spinning
can’t seem to draw my focus
mirror to you
perhaps
maybe

– – – –

dad i love you
i truly accept you for all that you are
thank you for showing me
all the to be’s
and not to be’s

i am thankful to be your daughter
US, i’d choose again in lifetimes over
what you provide
allowed me to fly high on this life of mine

you have given me an opportunity
the opportunity
to achieve something
to acquire that thing
unimaginable

i am on my way
through the halted chasing
space you’ve left behind
i have somehow collided
falling into me

– – – –

seek what is beautiful
seek the very thing you want
seek those feelings you lust
crave all that sensation you seek

quora answer to
how to improve
contrary to most
one stood out to me

close everything
stop reading
stop watching
just stop
cleanse yourself
until there is no society left inside
in turn
you might get a glimpse
that sparkle
that outlook that is uniquely yours
truly yours
and that’s the treasure to be cherished

part of lifes journey
the very concept that flows me

we are all born into this world
intuitively knowing
how we feel
what we want
what we like
what we don’t like
we did not have to mask that as babies
we were accepted as we are

soon, it changes
our parents tell us we’re wrong
our teachers tell us we’re wrong
our society tell us we’re wrong
they shove their ideal
their vision
their need to be the absolute
down our throat
through our entire being
derailing us so far from our inner need

we start to believe that
maybe that’s the life
maybe that’s the journey
maybe that’s the mate
to our doing

the furthest quest in life
is the one leading back to you
no city far enough
no river wide enough
no mountain high enough
no journey long enough
than the mission to unravel your in

who am i
what is life
who are you
why is life

purpose?
drive?
survive?
life?
how?
me?
when?

u n r i d d l e m e
please

– – – –

hi
there you are
its been a while
maybe cause its midnight
maybe because your busy mind finally rests

i miss you boo
i do
but i am so happy
everywhere i turn
i feel the love of john
i feel my mom’s love
my visions are actually becoming reality

i am so happy
i wish that for you
wishing you well
wishing you love
wishing you all the best

sorry i can’t be there
i no longer have that right
for all the right reasons
be well
never stop flowing~

colors


definitely uncovering the colors
of life
in realizing I’m not alone
whatever I’m feeling
there’s hundreds
if not thousands
feeling exactly the same

life is beautifully colorful
amazing

aging is a privilege on earth
enjoy it
embrace it
i love it

– – – –

surreal
is this real life?
sense of flow
gliding through
bit by bit
step by step

shine high
as if the universe is mine
bright light
along this path of mine

– – – –

december eighth two zero one six
what a significant day

move into my own
space to learn
elevation of life
independent state
that never gets old skyline
this city i adore

our time
our next chapter
your coziness
my happiness
where we stand
never had i imagined
this comfort
these cherishable moments
i don’t want anything else
but to create more memories with you
i am certain
never have i ever
thank you for you

forehead hersey
poke
special kind of like
polaroids
‘i can’t have both?’
coziness
warmth
this view
white on black

your hands
your face
your voice
content
i am so happy

final day of teacher training
these eight weeks
where do i begin
how do i begin

i found myself on the mat
struggles and fights
i found my release
stress into sweet sweet sweat

early weeks of anxiety
unable to eat
but my mandatory presence there
kept me there
kept me sane

growing familiar faces
safe environment
nurturing lessons
smiling faces
place of zen, truly

OM is the life
the everything
four parts
i have come to realize

it all begins
and it endures
also ends at some point
but it rebirths
cycle of life, i heard

that significance
integration
intention
practice
savasana
fetal
namaste

each individual unique of its own
but through yoga we yuj
connectedness
ultimate union

ultra happy
completed commitment to myself
ever so astonishing
this experience
gratitude-filled

– – – –

en route
next training begins
opening doors
all possibilities
best beside me

c o u n t d o w n . . .

afterglow

i don’t
see
nothing
i am tired

three months in
no more sparks
is this the way
its meant to be

i dont want to repeat
my wants incessantly
i don’t want to compromise
for solo team it seems

goodbye yellow
it has been a good ride
i conquer things within unexpectedly
i have grown
seem to already have outgrown you

i need more
you need something else
good luck

to be frank
i love you
unconditionally
but…as a friend
i am not in love with you
i don’t want to settle for this

sure its not just on my side
future seems blurry
almost nonexistent
yes i am aware
not oblivious

patience i was working on
but i cannot continue
without a clear reward in sight

– – – –

twenty four hours ago
same chair i sit
much more relieved
much more light

in being with you
i somehow lost myself
the most important relationship actually
is what i have with i

impulsive, maybe
but i truly believe in letting go
what’s ours will be ours
little time and distance
will make it clearer
either way it swings
i got this

somehow i have faith
in a second chance with you
hopefully then right foot we can start
more cohesive
even more in sync
nevertheless friends we will stay

fundamental needs
for you and for me
awaits the future

i love you yellow
this love is strong
that’s why i had to make this decision
at the limbo we were in
we were heading for resentment destruction
i can feel our growing fear
i can feel the magnitude of that bubble
bubble of our fear’s illusion
no hesitation allowed
had to 快刀斬亂麻

i want to love you
i want to love you unconditionally
whether as a friend or lover
highest good, i truly believe

– – – –

so proud of me
i recognized the need
the need to re-indentify myself
it showed me so many things
needed more work
needed more time
no better candidate
than my pure innocent yellow

– – – –

four days in
countless validations
this city i sit
how much difference six months make

i miss you
but i need to celebrate
i inherently knew
wrong path we swayed

its that click
my affinity towards you
confirmed of not the first lifetime
wow

– – – –

after day four
first day of the city limits of austin
i realized
this really truly isn’t about you
it’s me
it’s all me
this is who i am
this is who i need to be
this is how happy i must feel
i fought to be where i stand
i must strive for growth
no stagnant allowed

one hundred percent back
celebration
fuck yes
welcome back girl!!!

this feels so good
this mountain i’m climbing
one hundred percent all mine
all my hard work

the change and transition
vacillating state stuck
light at the end of the tunnel
i’m almost there
in manifesting the love i deserve

this is my life
i need to put in one hundred percent effort
take one hundred percent responsibility
in the manifestation of my highest good
brightest future
self-love
truly conquering it

alice, we got this!
this life
o n e l i f e

if i go

weird
these feelings

if i go
will you miss me

not in my hands
feeling all sorts of odd
emotionally challenged
emptied sockets

if i go
know that i am no longer in pain
although many more things i’ve yet to do
but i’ve done so much
most of all i became me
practioner of unconditional love

you
all bits and pieces
slices of my core
you all make who i am
i am a little of each of you
the most beautiful souls in this world

family
best friends
soul mates
guides
my world

all the smiles
all the twinkles
all the links
all the kinks

rebirth again and again
tumble and rumble through it all

i am the luckiest
i wouldn’t be anyone else but me
if i can do it
you can do it too
i believe in you

no matter how young
no matter how ignorant
no matter how naive

each and everyone of us
are doing our best in this moment
the best way we know how

– – – –

y o u

yellow
took your time
oh but the feelings you make me feel
i have yet to experience

its so nice
but so scary

i can never not see
but with you
i feel like i can close my eyes
and everything will be alright

better than better
finer than fine

this trust
never have i ever

– – – –

taking off
in the hands of the mighty universe

no matter how high
never let me forget
how grateful
how out of this world my life has been

lucky am i
my playground

to be continued. . .