beginning of the end


miles high
new life i stride

so many unknowns
big and blurred
carries of emotions mix

three teaspoons of anxiousness
two full pours of hope
sprinkle of grieve
dash of adrenaline
one full stem of excitement,
chopped up and ready to spread
four cups of happiness
one full bowl of trust

i’m open
i feel like me again

– – – –

white suit white shoes
don’t touch por favor

oh gosh
our karma
what a funny little thing
you adorkable shit

fourteen months of experience
i laughed
i enjoyed
i embraced
i adapted
i learned
i pained
i listened
i shared
i compromised
i accommodated
i grew
and most of all,
i committed

i came out of this a whole new person
and i have no one to thank but you
i did loose myself in this swirl of fairy dust
but thankfully
it wasn’t too late
to catch myself and rise above

the experiences you gave me
even now
the seed growing in me
im making the best decision for us though
cannot be connected to you all life
different vibrations
must let you go to fly high

i thank thee
gratitude to the max
i wish for you
self clarity
self love
independence
to be the man that i know you can be

– – – –

new chapter
new life
so much new
where i should be

refind the old
adjoining the two
bigger better version four point oh
taking me to the best cycle yet

– – – –

past cycle of ten
one detrimental
two transformational
few casual
lots of passerbys

next cycle of ten
true
honest
growth
love
partner
it’s possible because i know me now

snap
capture
my soul through the lines
rediscover
the pure bliss of life
alongside
the gentle innocence
that surrounds my future

damn
long way i’ve come
pat on the back

never could i have ever imagined
never could i have ever thought
here i stand
self knowledge
self mastery
in various shapes and sizes

i’m intrigued by me
i’m in love with me
what more is to life

best life ever
best perspective ever

expanding

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expanding infinitely
we paused and said out loud uninamously
interesting
so many soul mates
i am too lucky
platonic chivalry i assume

– – – –

just close your lips
follow my lead
you can be trained
but i don’t know if im into it
you’re cute
stay unbreakable

– – – –

the honest
the wild
the crazy
the kink

i am pretty excited
can’t wait to meet you too
too intrigued
can hardly contain

– – – –

as for you you little punk
i got you
for some reason
deep down inside
i want to take care and nurture you
i want to lick your wounds
i want to hold you

i can do all that
with no emotions attached
it’s quite cool, isn’t it

your charms
your face
your words
all helped me on this new road
and i thank you

can’t wait to play again
you sex
you kiss
you lick

b i t e m e h a r d e r

snap

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snapped back to reality

truth
so much truth
lots to swallow

– – – –

tuning in for the best now
only the best
because I deserve the best

the best is around the corner

– – – –

relaxed day
lazy
bummin
rolling around

feeling sexy
wolfie from down under
just teasing
too many miles away

– – – –

single awareness week
A L R I G H T
im ready boo

my head
my life
my voice

h i p h i p h o o r a y

blow

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blow my mind
or better
blow yours
with a shotgun
no guts left

its my own problem
sick in the in
unable to express
any bit of e m o t i o n
killing off mine
just not somebody new

sinking cells
sunken all the way
what was it used to be
blurry so cannot be
fuck me
how

this shitting cycle
ugh unable to breathe

– – – –

O I N K
adventure time one of my third
white gurl crazy
that slice of bacon
shakin his thang
all laughs

droplets of missing you

F I T
popo airforce lion
too much self love
so much narcissism
different kind of crowd
interesting products
all competes
lines
different world

yummilicious hot
melt in your mouth

unwind

– – – –

too much time to think

spinning rut
spiral of overthinking

close one eye
shut down my mind

twirling out of control
filling the void with garbage
not better
almost disgusting
the internet
these communications
wipe them off

can i be normal now?
over being emo

p l a y d e a d

inimical

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n o t

– – – –

admitting feelings
hard hard thing
surprising feeling
unimaginary

smiles and giggles and brights and more
from your lips to your sternum down to your toes
licking every inch of my skin
holding on that time
is it no more?

get out of my head
driving me crazy
quite frankly
hung over the edge I feel
thus why
all these randoms
the net to break my fall

blehh x x

– – – –

what falling in love is
ever get to experience me that
that feeling of longing
for more than the physical being

that smile
that twinkle
truly happy for you

shining
shimmering
splendid

J A H

urge

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strange sudden overflowing

urge to know
urge to discover
urge to open
urge to linger

what to do with all this urge
where to set it
how to deal with it

many unanswers
swiveling in my helpless mind

– – – –

read . . . so easily

how . . . did you manage to see

felt . . . magnetic connection

scared . . . too close to heart

attracted . . . absurdity

pulls . . . insanely

– – – –

i feel tangled in you
still and over and again
lucky charm, you say
then can you really show me?

i am just waiting

i am no longer approaching

too much pain
too much uncertainty
too much unsubstance

at the stop
looking over my shoulder
the shadows flashes

ifs
whats
maybes
indefinitely

– – – –

drop its
R E focus
goals in stone

k e e p on g o i n g

riveting

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interesting perspective
maybe that’s what i need

honest it feels whole
hybrid connection
is it real?
beyond intrigued
devilish eyes
normality out the window
attracted to the damage
is it a trap?
oh but i am willing
so, so willing
to get tied up in your twisted web

odd, i know

– – – –

interestingly eager
rachet self proclaiming male
what the heck, i thought
charming no doubt
but what about
means well
easy flow
no pressure

up in the air
decisions decisions decisions

may be cracked
to be continued..

– – – –

a g a i n . . .

you wrinkle my sheets
you crinkle my heart

who what when where why

so many questions
too many questions
constantly overflowing
unexpressed
bottled up inside

t a n g l e d i n y o u

your finger tips
your breaths
your attentiveness
your life

i am an addict
overdose me

– – – –

blinded
faded

i see what i need to chase
i know what i have to do
missing that push

tasks
missions
must complete

e a r n e d not g i v e n

I DO GIVE A fUCK

gear up

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push
fight
purpose

– – – –

all that we are
that glitz and tack
don’t belong
much better
we deserve our own
our rep
our turn of the era

– – – –

I AM GOING TO DO IT

no regrets
cannot stop
no longer an option to pause
this is real
so fucking real
got to fight
for my basic right

i cannot go back
that saran wrapped life
glass house shelter
seeing everything
yet numbed completely

pick myself up bit by bit
its just in the wrong
i promise it is temporary
align everything up
there is a light
falsely but surely
i can almost smell the air from the other side

it is perfect
it is freedom
it is my own

can hardly wait

BUT FIRST,
need to put in the works

not going to be easy
challenges and obstacles
road to run them over

g o t s i t

sparks

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in the darkest form
brightened from behind
its slight
its shy
foreground hides
background shines
and it all collides

– – – –

fight for me
unfiltered
most vulnerable state
never tried
new, i guess
cherish and in the moment
luckiness is set
happy state
hump overcomed
too deep
too ecstasy

– – – –

honest
i am glad
that circle
defines chemical error
useless
same shit different day
all talk
meaningless
from a distance
best spot i pick
good show
real life comedy
round in circles
feel bad for you especially
tricked my sympathy
no longer i care
have fun
haha

– – – –

new mood
refreshed
leave the past behind
get on with my life
too excited

p r e s s P L A Y