flow

Your mind is constantly projecting—projecting itself. Your mind is constantly interfering with reality, giving it a color, shape, and form that are not its own. Your mind never allows you to see that which is; it allows you to see only that which it wants to see. -Osho

hence
listening tis a great gift
the grandest gift
to give
and to receive

today
i listened
i let my father speak
although most i’ve heard in times past
but today
it sounded different

through his many roles
provider he deemed of most value
his utmost priority
must provide
at any cost
at all cost

through that
in my perspective
he lost his sight on the prize

who are you providing for
what are you providing for

once upon a time
the drive was simple
to provide for family
to supply an abundance of
so family doesn’t endure hardship
to focus on being one
or so i assume

fast forward a drive-turned habit
habitually unstoppable
can’t stop
won’t stop
shan’t stop
take a deeper look inside
manipura of its utmost imbalance

through providing
you’ve lost unity
through providing
you’ve failed to see anything outside of
through providing
you’ve overcomplicated
through providing
you’ve destroyed
that raw seed of drive
the drive that brought you here today

no matter what happens
from your perspective
its all o k a y
its all e x c u s a b l e
its all w e l l w i t h i n r e a s o n
because at the end of the day
you’re still the provider
and you’re doing the best you can

the irony of life
is it
often the very thing that drives us
becomes the very thing that destroys us
often the very thing that entangles us
becomes the very thing we despise

one thing i did happen to catch
a rare truth of a statement
you admitted fault to parenting
the lack of in each five of us
admitting is the first step
bravo father bravo
it might not be too late

i didn’t interrupt
i watched you move your lips
listened as your thought process unfolded
bare
naked
raw
all that in relation of
communication at its best

how many chances do we get
rare occurrence all the same
life doesn’t stop spinning
can’t seem to draw my focus
mirror to you
perhaps
maybe

– – – –

dad i love you
i truly accept you for all that you are
thank you for showing me
all the to be’s
and not to be’s

i am thankful to be your daughter
US, i’d choose again in lifetimes over
what you provide
allowed me to fly high on this life of mine

you have given me an opportunity
the opportunity
to achieve something
to acquire that thing
unimaginable

i am on my way
through the halted chasing
space you’ve left behind
i have somehow collided
falling into me

– – – –

seek what is beautiful
seek the very thing you want
seek those feelings you lust
crave all that sensation you seek

quora answer to
how to improve
contrary to most
one stood out to me

close everything
stop reading
stop watching
just stop
cleanse yourself
until there is no society left inside
in turn
you might get a glimpse
that sparkle
that outlook that is uniquely yours
truly yours
and that’s the treasure to be cherished

part of lifes journey
the very concept that flows me

we are all born into this world
intuitively knowing
how we feel
what we want
what we like
what we don’t like
we did not have to mask that as babies
we were accepted as we are

soon, it changes
our parents tell us we’re wrong
our teachers tell us we’re wrong
our society tell us we’re wrong
they shove their ideal
their vision
their need to be the absolute
down our throat
through our entire being
derailing us so far from our inner need

we start to believe that
maybe that’s the life
maybe that’s the journey
maybe that’s the mate
to our doing

the furthest quest in life
is the one leading back to you
no city far enough
no river wide enough
no mountain high enough
no journey long enough
than the mission to unravel your in

who am i
what is life
who are you
why is life

purpose?
drive?
survive?
life?
how?
me?
when?

u n r i d d l e m e
please

– – – –

hi
there you are
its been a while
maybe cause its midnight
maybe because your busy mind finally rests

i miss you boo
i do
but i am so happy
everywhere i turn
i feel the love of john
i feel my mom’s love
my visions are actually becoming reality

i am so happy
i wish that for you
wishing you well
wishing you love
wishing you all the best

sorry i can’t be there
i no longer have that right
for all the right reasons
be well
never stop flowing~

beginning of the end


miles high
new life i stride

so many unknowns
big and blurred
carries of emotions mix

three teaspoons of anxiousness
two full pours of hope
sprinkle of grieve
dash of adrenaline
one full stem of excitement,
chopped up and ready to spread
four cups of happiness
one full bowl of trust

i’m open
i feel like me again

– – – –

white suit white shoes
don’t touch por favor

oh gosh
our karma
what a funny little thing
you adorkable shit

fourteen months of experience
i laughed
i enjoyed
i embraced
i adapted
i learned
i pained
i listened
i shared
i compromised
i accommodated
i grew
and most of all,
i committed

i came out of this a whole new person
and i have no one to thank but you
i did loose myself in this swirl of fairy dust
but thankfully
it wasn’t too late
to catch myself and rise above

the experiences you gave me
even now
the seed growing in me
im making the best decision for us though
cannot be connected to you all life
different vibrations
must let you go to fly high

i thank thee
gratitude to the max
i wish for you
self clarity
self love
independence
to be the man that i know you can be

– – – –

new chapter
new life
so much new
where i should be

refind the old
adjoining the two
bigger better version four point oh
taking me to the best cycle yet

– – – –

past cycle of ten
one detrimental
two transformational
few casual
lots of passerbys

next cycle of ten
true
honest
growth
love
partner
it’s possible because i know me now

snap
capture
my soul through the lines
rediscover
the pure bliss of life
alongside
the gentle innocence
that surrounds my future

damn
long way i’ve come
pat on the back

never could i have ever imagined
never could i have ever thought
here i stand
self knowledge
self mastery
in various shapes and sizes

i’m intrigued by me
i’m in love with me
what more is to life

best life ever
best perspective ever

tilted

but i am actually good
can’t help if we’re tilted
i miss prosthesis and mended thoughts
trampled over beauty while singing their souls
i match them with my euphoria
when they said ‘je suis plus folle que toi’
don’t be a downer
i am in my right place

– – – –

rolling through day ten
nine days of no boys
no boys prioritized

much more focus
much more productivity
much more stabilized mood
much more happiness

tis truly great
proud am i
twenty days to go
infinite possibilities

– – – –

sisterhood
rebonded
resealed

best day ever
best captures ever
best everything ever

new direction?
together, maybe?
would be nice
must wait a bit to see

our respect
our love
our teamwork
our selflessness

pretty fucking awesome
more adventures please
tilted we are
til death do us part

– – – –

life
so good
itching to rebel
will i flip
whale i hold
time will tell

l i v i n g

– – – –
– – – –

twelve days
more whole than ever
w o w z a

clearer of what i seek
vision compiling

love
to share
to have
to hold

no bullshit
no fronts

make the best of
duration dont matter
as long as there’s growth

– – – –
– – – –

twentieth day

clearest now
you’re the one i like
i actually like you
your smile
your laugh
your uniqueness
your passion
your hands
your calmness
your safety
the way you look at me
the way you laugh with me

what i originally thought
appearance faded into the background
it wasn’t about that
i still think you’re that big thing
big thing coming for me

still ever so confused
all the lack of

being away defined my mind
tis actually isn’t lust or obsession
pure enjoyment in our soul connection
wonder if this does that for you as well

hopeful
i sincerely ask
the heavens and above
wait i shall
round and round

– – – –

big boy
sweetest
never have i received
this kind of affection
might be a bit much
kind of want to run
oddly stressful

shifting to appreciation
just have to remember
we accept the love we think we deserve
i deserve this
not only from him
but from any and all romantic connection to have
the beginning
new route
okay enjoy myself

– – – –

three and a half more days
wrapping it up
the bestest fucking year
the greatest fucking year

as if I had golden stars
shooting star rockets underneath my feet
flying me through the land of luck
high above cloud nine

savoring this dish called life
course by course
jaw dropping unravels
amazing moments experiences
never the same feels duplicates
plating tasting those perfectly imperfect bits

all new
all of the best
all of the glitz
i fucking love my life
i fucking love me

wishes granted
one after another
fortunes the theme
my whole entire life
delayed realization
to say the least, i swear

surreal
ethereal
bizarre
fanatical

x

real

  
code

don’t say no
no doors closed
all roads opened
the pick of the world

– – – –

the inevitable
not so bad actually
facing it soberly
ace of clubs it shuts

karmic
i owe you
if this is all
praise the lord
farewell can easily be bid

neptune
the fantasy to you
rose colored goggles
can’t see me for who i am
i can see that
if not even purposely driven
not sure
i assumed of more pull
be it, let go

pluto
want to lure you in
want the restriction
want you to wear your heart for me
if the chance
i shall conquer
i seldomly swear

three times the fun
waits the game
hope to cross paths again
i am grateful
good riddance to you for now

xoxo

– – – –

treasure map
so surreal
is this really happening
two years later
long overdue
wonder what’s in store
honest no game
in it just for the fun
perfect aesthetics
look forward to
touch, feel, play
don’t tease
for real
come inside
i am ready

– – – –

the accent
the gentleman
completely wowed
expecting fuckboy nonetheless
tomorrows the night
apologize for the wait
best version is worth it
pinky promised

good asset
toy i deem

– – – –
– – – –

creative space
talents the bore
what is the motive
the green?
the booze?
the women?
the passion?
how to assume ones
unsure
who cares
the glitz and glamour
always replaced
one after another
the sooner you look
the clearer it becomes
transparent

melodic
dark
grunge

what does that all embody?
what is everyone chasing?
what glosses these glasses?
dream chasing money back guarantee?
questions questions questions
up close and personal
negatively positive spaces

problem child
my muse
my inspiration
opening my eyes
growing visuals
love it
embrace it

– – – –

after thoughts
actual genuine
facade to impress the glam
goofy goody what
going under
blown up it may be
best of luck to you

pretty face
layered presentation
yet to puzzle
open to create
present more
further
we shall see

name necklace
bid farewell
five years
tear
fuck my life
carelessnesssssss

– – – –
– – – –

tucking the rest of the year up
managing the thoughts carefully
thank all that not belong
welcome all ye positive and bright

focusing on this being
the being of self
the beings of my space

make it full
make it passion
make it shine
make it completely mine

– – – –

which which
L O VE

rainbow

 

somewhere
over that
over that hump
i am

sounds of the ocean
waves of the atlantic
the best vibes
with my one and only

– – – –

going along
some kinds of fun
wazing through crowds
experiencing visual forms
creative lives
we us then
sacred works of all
interconnected through this platform
free expression
venus’s the limit
get on that

boxes of cubicles
heart and souls
all bits of brain juice
splashes of the taints
glossy over that source of boom

vibrance
minimal
shapes
contrast
influenced
light up
steel works of art
art that tells of ones deepest secrets

its that
that’s amazing
that outlet

– – – –

no matter if
you are great
it shall be your loss
if and maybe why
not sure what to think
calming myself
reeling my thoughts in
not worth it really
too much to explore
can’t hold on to your spot
see how it plays
numbered days
blerch

what can you offer me
besides that sense of security
that tall glass of eye candy
nothing else really
adventure…eh
love…eh
sex…hmm
exactly
so there is much to be proven
until then
don’t get too comfortable boo
get ready for a fight
prize of your life
mm okay thanks bye

– – – –

treasure map
have you finally gathered snack and supplies
hunting in that city of ours
first ever exchange

– – – –

big ol’ grey cloud
what are you up to
What are you thinking
what do you do
my curiosity gets the best of me
i know there’s warnings
shall tread carefully
arms length
don’t mind the fire
hope not to get burned
reveal yeself!

– – – –

i reminisce
for the thousandth time i swear
the last tangle
fitting so perfectly in yours
your fingertips traced over my skin
marking itself ever so familiarly
playing the keys to the tunes of my soul
the touch of magic
you have

i fucking miss
the thought of you
the texts of you
the smiles of you
the smell of you
lingering
never forgotten
connected through the cloud of sound
forever and more

lost in you no longer
i should be glad
a tad i guess
sanity > it all

– – – –

cheerio proposal
i know what you want
i am unable to fulfill that position right now
my bad for peeling the old wound
its truly unfair
my head clearly knows
how perfect you’d treat me
unready for that
that step is big
too big for us at the moment
my apologies

– – – –

nineteen months
can it be?
anticipating
might be light and fun
comfort at the least
see ya thursday!

– – – –

so much media
too much
too fucking much
someone something somewhere
telling you
who to be
what to think
no room for self growth

UGH

i know the inevitable
i don’t want to complain
i can’t say i am completely free of

BUT F U C K

how can i avoid
take the first steps of my path
completely out of the box
never the first
can it be
born dis da hipsters
weird loop
unsolvable loop
the only one i am responsible for is
me, myself and i

center and stand tall
do my best
live my life
let all else flow on

– – – –

all these distractions
all these males
just need to remind myself
of the one criteria

you must be passionate about me

no passion
no go
not settling for anything less
oh, the ease
i got this
reminded!

– – – –

keep reading
keep praticing
that unconditional love
keep searching
keep experiencing

all the pieces falling together
all once so broken
falling back together so perfectly

believe in me
take me higher
i love this life
i love my life

– – – –

twinsie
matching
all day
all night

this soul twin of mine
unlike any other i have met
her individuality
leads me gently to inspire me
gives me space to grow into my own
some sort of opposites
but we work
hey
like magic on ice
no sense but what sense to life really

this trip
we made it our own
we made it one of the bests
another city to add to the books
so many more adventures to come

the best duo
you’ve got to show me love
pillow fights
i got handled
snapchat noobies
natural conversationalists
instant moments
imperfectly perfect moments
all the moments
recorded
remembered

woo
you’s it

a i n i

der kuss

rodger that

#noregrets
first choice mutually
my straylian soldier
confidence booster

P R A G U E
unforgettable
my ultimate company
super cutie
old town square
le clock tower

bits
and ticks
seconds fly by
countdown of us
making the most of each other
to the deepest bits
drops
reds
every sensation
the way i like

never have i ever
dance the night away
public displays of affection
champagne room what is

– – – –

afterthought

so strange
so close
in days time
could get used to

– – – –

double karma
too many mars
can’t lie and say i don’t reminisce
good times
felt your passion
reignite mine

words unsaid
maybe next year
maybe never
nonetheless

t h a n k y o u