polaroid blog

flow

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

Your mind is constantly projecting—projecting itself. Your mind is constantly interfering with reality, giving it a color, shape, and form that are not its own. Your mind never allows you to see that which is; it allows you to see only that which it wants to see. -Osho

hence
listening tis a great gift
the grandest gift
to give
and to receive

today
i listened
i let my father speak
although most i’ve heard in times past
but today
it sounded different

through his many roles
provider he deemed of most value
his utmost priority
must provide
at any cost
at all cost

through that
in my perspective
he lost his sight on the prize

who are you providing for
what are you providing for

once upon a time
the drive was simple
to provide for family
to supply an abundance of
so family doesn’t endure hardship
to focus on being one
or so i assume

fast forward a drive-turned habit
habitually unstoppable
can’t stop
won’t stop
shan’t stop
take a deeper look inside
manipura of its utmost imbalance

through providing
you’ve lost unity
through providing
you’ve failed to see anything outside of
through providing
you’ve overcomplicated
through providing
you’ve destroyed
that raw seed of drive
the drive that brought you here today

no matter what happens
from your perspective
its all o k a y
its all e x c u s a b l e
its all w e l l w i t h i n r e a s o n
because at the end of the day
you’re still the provider
and you’re doing the best you can

the irony of life
is it
often the very thing that drives us
becomes the very thing that destroys us
often the very thing that entangles us
becomes the very thing we despise

one thing i did happen to catch
a rare truth of a statement
you admitted fault to parenting
the lack of in each five of us
admitting is the first step
bravo father bravo
it might not be too late

i didn’t interrupt
i watched you move your lips
listened as your thought process unfolded
bare
naked
raw
all that in relation of
communication at its best

how many chances do we get
rare occurrence all the same
life doesn’t stop spinning
can’t seem to draw my focus
mirror to you
perhaps
maybe

– – – –

dad i love you
i truly accept you for all that you are
thank you for showing me
all the to be’s
and not to be’s

i am thankful to be your daughter
US, i’d choose again in lifetimes over
what you provide
allowed me to fly high on this life of mine

you have given me an opportunity
the opportunity
to achieve something
to acquire that thing
unimaginable

i am on my way
through the halted chasing
space you’ve left behind
i have somehow collided
falling into me

– – – –

seek what is beautiful
seek the very thing you want
seek those feelings you lust
crave all that sensation you seek

quora answer to
how to improve
contrary to most
one stood out to me

close everything
stop reading
stop watching
just stop
cleanse yourself
until there is no society left inside
in turn
you might get a glimpse
that sparkle
that outlook that is uniquely yours
truly yours
and that’s the treasure to be cherished

part of lifes journey
the very concept that flows me

we are all born into this world
intuitively knowing
how we feel
what we want
what we like
what we don’t like
we did not have to mask that as babies
we were accepted as we are

soon, it changes
our parents tell us we’re wrong
our teachers tell us we’re wrong
our society tell us we’re wrong
they shove their ideal
their vision
their need to be the absolute
down our throat
through our entire being
derailing us so far from our inner need

we start to believe that
maybe that’s the life
maybe that’s the journey
maybe that’s the mate
to our doing

the furthest quest in life
is the one leading back to you
no city far enough
no river wide enough
no mountain high enough
no journey long enough
than the mission to unravel your in

who am i
what is life
who are you
why is life

purpose?
drive?
survive?
life?
how?
me?
when?

u n r i d d l e m e
please

– – – –

hi
there you are
its been a while
maybe cause its midnight
maybe because your busy mind finally rests

i miss you boo
i do
but i am so happy
everywhere i turn
i feel the love of john
i feel my mom’s love
my visions are actually becoming reality

i am so happy
i wish that for you
wishing you well
wishing you love
wishing you all the best

sorry i can’t be there
i no longer have that right
for all the right reasons
be well
never stop flowing~

afterlight

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

student of life!

– – – –

furthering me
resolution to complete books
choosing books

author OSHO
all sorts of titles
I WANT IT ALL
IT ALL SEDUCES ME SO
but i must make myself choose
what priorities
what values
i most desire to understand

FEAR; first and foremost
understanding and accepting the insecurities of life
fear is there
so look at it
go very very deep
a big part of understanding oneself, any self
is through fear

LOVE, FREEDOM and ALONENESS
a new vision of relating
no expectation of any sorts
so curious to the content it holds
aloneness.. detachment?
something i’ve been overcoming
fear of being alone took center stage
it made me feel small often
but i’ve recently discovered that
myself is the best company
and until i can be my own best friend, best confidant
be able to love me in the way i desire to be loved unconditionally
no one else
nothing else
can fill that void
OFF TOPIC
that’s where my mind takes me HA

last but definitely not least

CREATIVITY; alignment with my rebellion
unleashing the forces within
MY QUOTE FOR THE DAY
for the week
for the month
for the year
FOR LIFE, maybe!
rebellion comes so naturally to me
and i’ve only had my parents to rebel against
as well as anyone that loved me
i’ve acted so repulsively through my small ass mind
BUT NO MORE
i’m ready to evolve
to find my right rebellion in the world surrounds
insight!
I EGGGGGCITE

– – – –

– – – –

this sensation on my body
army of millions marching on my back it seems
no complaints
cherishing this humanly experience
my choice
endure it
necessity to move on up

my life trend
written
erase
rewrite
erase

history of my inks

back of left thumb summer o5′
broken test tube
bad chemistry
best buds from primary/secondary
nothing good ever comes of our gathering
oh but the most pure rebellious forms of life
16/17 *lasered four sessions

right ankle bone summer o5′
green leaf of the maryjane
HA life long companion i once deemed
had a dream of being the coolest grandma
smoking a joint on my rocking chair somewhere
OH MY EFFIN GAWWWD XD
16/17 *lasered once, retatted and removing again lol

back of left ear summer o6′
music notes of blue and green
the most important sense to me
for me to hide away from my brain
cherish notes of all kinds
cherished melodies
18 *lasered once, retatted

right hip august o7′
phoenix
WHAT THE FUCK
six feet under
spontaneity at its finest
dug his needle so deep
start of something i wish could have avoided
19 *covered with dragon

left wrist
NO REGRETS in black ink
first tat to remain in its original state
it was funny
first afterthought was that of I REGRET
i humor myself
i have learned to love this very deeply so
20 *

right wrist
McQueen in white ink
so daint
fragility of life
hung by a thread
in remembrance of my first hero
he who truly inspired that lost soul
in creations that last beyond life

you’ve got to know the rules to break them…that’s what i am here for – to demolish the rules but keep the tradition.
Alexander Mcqueen20 *

originally just right side body
ended up being whole back to half of right thigh
my DRAGON outline
game of throne
jk way before its time
made more sense dragon > phoenix
i am a dragon of 1988
underlining motive: wanted him to break up with me
i didn’t know how to get away
that toxic relationship
kept rebelling in areas that would drive him mad
kept pushing the limits
even when it was to the extent of hurting myself like so
but damn he still didn’t do as i presumed
breaking point for mom and dad alike
this broke them….
broke their fantasy of who they thought i was
i am sorry
21 *layered once at 21 and 29 – ongoing project

right forearm
FARever YOUNG in white ink
omysighggggggggggg
crazy summer of no consequence in mind
clumps of white
clips or memories fade in and out
summer of 12’
drifter of life
24 *covered

under right boob
to infinity and beyond
no… not a buzz lightyear fan per se
feeling unstoppable?
i have no idea where i was
where my mind was
but party
tail end of butterfly
wanted to sore into the sky
prior to last move to taiwan
encouragement for self i think
25 *

right thigh
stacks of roses
inspired by summer of styling
preen printed shirt
start of big vision in mind
led to my pilot artist friend for life
wheels started to turn
life began in motion
roses europe timothy
26 *first picosure laser session 2 days ago

right rib
blacked out TRIANGLE
obsession with this shape
the representation of perfect balance
none would stand
not without that perfect angle
life continues to shift
getting clean in my inner and outer being
isolated road to sobriety
isolated state of cleaning
cleaning my room but cleaning my brain too?
repeated pain to remind myself
this journey i embark
26 *this stays FOREVER

left back behind heart
hollow CIRCLE
for family
for my whole heart
it represents that never ending circle
that bounds us
to karma
to life
i felt something then
i felt whole for once of the first time ever
27 *this stays too

right forearm coverup
watercolor flower
late bloomer
blooming came later than most
still in process i feel
the subtleness
the new colors i allow in
it sets a mood
for my days to come
i love it
starting to discover what i want
how i want it
it feels good
27 *this is staying as well

last but not least

left collar bone
LOOK INSIDE
see me in the mirror
look deeper
this is for my inner child
the most pure form of my being
going through the darkest time of its life
night is darkest before dawn they say
i realize that now
that immense amount of pain
every little bit that i buried with my exile
i had to let it surface
to face my most deep my most dark
to set myself free
to love myself truly
i am truly whole
in this moment in time
that phase i shall never forget
this in memory of
the first of its kind
the piece of me that belonged
welcome home
28 *forever forever foreverrrrrrrrr

yas. my journey with le ink.
five artists
one friend
all me
FUCK hahaha
truth be told
i don’t think this is the end

– – – –

recovering
company of game of thrones
learning
cryto
researching
split
reading
osho

self love
self contentment
fuller hearts joy

i love my brother
i love my mother
i love my father
i love my family
i love my friends
i love love
i love me ❤

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

redhairyogi007

year to  l e a r n
f u n  objective i deem
addition of  s e l f

s c h o o l  of sorts
understanding
identifying
c o m p r e h e n ding
proficiency of self
one level  u p

– – – –

2  0  1  8

  • f i n d  website designer
  • c l e a n  out storage
  • create/produce icy  s o n g
  • i f s  training
  • l a u g h ing  yoga training
  • restorative yoga training
  • host one icy class
  • host one dinner party with  c o l l a b  (aiming for march)
  • white out car  i n s t a l l a t i o n  (april)
  • learn  d u t c h
  • learn to  f l y   a helicopter
  • left nipple ring
  • tat removal
  • try to make one new dish/ w e e k l y
  • physical  s t r e n g t h  building: boxing, dance & acroyoga
  • d a i l y  blog of the things i see, read and learn

 

T R A V E L

  • san francisco o125-o129
  • new york city o221-o3o1
  • san francisco o322-o326
  • taiwan for 30th birthday
  • copenhagen o5o8
  • scanadavia & russia o512-o6o2
  • berlin o6o2
  • amsterdam o6o5
  • croatia o7o2
  • boom, belgium (tomorrowland?)
  • prague o8o7
  • budapest (sziget fesitval) o8o9
  • london?
  • japan?

 

– – – –

2  0  1  7  m y  r  e c a  p

  • love is infinite
    b i r t h  of
    my wildest dream
    d o  b e  g o o d
  • a c c e p t ance and letting go

in so much i read
so much i learn
if it comes, let it
if it goes, let it
how easier it is so said than done
for a type a control freakturning point
g o l d e n  i s l a n d lesson
it happened
and i truly let it go
d i g n i t y is mineseeked c l a r i t y of its entirety
understood that self knowledge was that l i g h t at the end of the tunnel
p a s s e r b y teacher identity i realized
self love through our perfectly i m p e r f e c t bits
l o g i c al perspective
my capability of faith and  l o y a l t y
life coach free of charge HAHA

life is good to me
best timing
heart filled with g r a t i t u d e to its fullest extent

  • joy of working
    smiling faces of pilgrim school
    ingrained memory
    heart warming i n n o c e n c e
  • sense of belonging
    shift of perspective
    be where i am
    see myself as one with all
    similarity > differences
    less distance
    being present
    being in me
    taste of inner peace
  • t r u s t
    i n  me
    in the  u n i v e r s e
    in others
  • f a m i l y
    resistance no more
    permission to allow them in
    their love language
    their nurture
    nothing comparesthe love i seeked elsewhere
    was right next to me
    they have been loving me
    in their way
    for as long as i can remember
    for as long as i have been around
    cleared to see
    cleared to feel
    cleared to receive
    not too late to clear to appreciate
  • little seed
    f i v e weeks f i v e days
    magical warmth
    motivation to g e t  b e t t e r
    b e  stronger
    acquire all that i can
    to provide a  s a f e  place
    to birth
    to grow
    at  y o u r   r e t u r n
    cellular memory
    for yous

 

N E W  P L A C E S

 

  • laguna beacho1o8-o114
    transformation
    nurture for my inner child
    appreciation for the big blue
  • phuket, thailand o4o8-o412
    witness of true love’s union ❤
  • ojai o8o4-o811
    mission statement
    secluded peace
    wee yogis
    golden island
    special needs child release
    turning point*
  • san francisco o831-o929
    home away from home
    self efficacy
    majectic greens
  • oahu & maui 1115-1122
    island fun
    last waves of letting go
    one with waterfall
    reunion of love souls

beginning of the end

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment


miles high
new life i stride

so many unknowns
big and blurred
carries of emotions mix

three teaspoons of anxiousness
two full pours of hope
sprinkle of grieve
dash of adrenaline
one full stem of excitement,
chopped up and ready to spread
four cups of happiness
one full bowl of trust

i’m open
i feel like me again

– – – –

white suit white shoes
don’t touch por favor

oh gosh
our karma
what a funny little thing
you adorkable shit

fourteen months of experience
i laughed
i enjoyed
i embraced
i adapted
i learned
i pained
i listened
i shared
i compromised
i accommodated
i grew
and most of all,
i committed

i came out of this a whole new person
and i have no one to thank but you
i did loose myself in this swirl of fairy dust
but thankfully
it wasn’t too late
to catch myself and rise above

the experiences you gave me
even now
the seed growing in me
im making the best decision for us though
cannot be connected to you all life
different vibrations
must let you go to fly high

i thank thee
gratitude to the max
i wish for you
self clarity
self love
independence
to be the man that i know you can be

– – – –

new chapter
new life
so much new
where i should be

refind the old
adjoining the two
bigger better version four point oh
taking me to the best cycle yet

– – – –

past cycle of ten
one detrimental
two transformational
few casual
lots of passerbys

next cycle of ten
true
honest
growth
love
partner
it’s possible because i know me now

snap
capture
my soul through the lines
rediscover
the pure bliss of life
alongside
the gentle innocence
that surrounds my future

damn
long way i’ve come
pat on the back

never could i have ever imagined
never could i have ever thought
here i stand
self knowledge
self mastery
in various shapes and sizes

i’m intrigued by me
i’m in love with me
what more is to life

best life ever
best perspective ever

colors

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment


definitely uncovering the colors
of life
in realizing I’m not alone
whatever I’m feeling
there’s hundreds
if not thousands
feeling exactly the same

life is beautifully colorful
amazing

aging is a privilege on earth
enjoy it
embrace it
i love it

– – – –

surreal
is this real life?
sense of flow
gliding through
bit by bit
step by step

shine high
as if the universe is mine
bright light
along this path of mine

– – – –

december eighth two zero one six
what a significant day

move into my own
space to learn
elevation of life
independent state
that never gets old skyline
this city i adore

our time
our next chapter
your coziness
my happiness
where we stand
never had i imagined
this comfort
these cherishable moments
i don’t want anything else
but to create more memories with you
i am certain
never have i ever
thank you for you

forehead hersey
poke
special kind of like
polaroids
‘i can’t have both?’
coziness
warmth
this view
white on black

your hands
your face
your voice
content
i am so happy

final day of teacher training
these eight weeks
where do i begin
how do i begin

i found myself on the mat
struggles and fights
i found my release
stress into sweet sweet sweat

early weeks of anxiety
unable to eat
but my mandatory presence there
kept me there
kept me sane

growing familiar faces
safe environment
nurturing lessons
smiling faces
place of zen, truly

OM is the life
the everything
four parts
i have come to realize

it all begins
and it endures
also ends at some point
but it rebirths
cycle of life, i heard

that significance
integration
intention
practice
savasana
fetal
namaste

each individual unique of its own
but through yoga we yuj
connectedness
ultimate union

ultra happy
completed commitment to myself
ever so astonishing
this experience
gratitude-filled

– – – –

en route
next training begins
opening doors
all possibilities
best beside me

c o u n t d o w n . . .

closer

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment


another weekend
another adventure
hours of dancing
earloads of great sounds
all around good vibes
what more to life

– – – –

relived the young
rolly polly three days straight
first of all vegas experiences
and you too

i saw your effort
i felt the magnitude of magnetism
cannot lie but i do wonder
just an influenced action
or influenced encouragement
either way
i enjoyed it all the way

feeling safe
feeling protected
feeling close
feeling attached

its been a while
avoided closeness
avoidant tendencies
too much in my head
pushed it all away

refelt that warmth
i crave it
even more certain
of a stability i’ve yet to find
with you or not
i seek that love
that look of absolute
manifesting for that
finally ready

– – – –

one of the best weekends
only good souls
souls that matter
the experience i belong
nothing compares
my second home i say
see you next year
thank you edc

– – – –

constantly improving
evolving into a better me

there are days
i can hardly recognize the person in the mirror
i couldn’t have dreamed
of the being i have become

identity crisis
extreme ends of spectrum
now i have realized
in coming to peace
instead of denying my past
decided to join the old and the now
to morph into the best of both worlds
leaping into my future plans and encounters

– – – –

mutual confessions
prolonged attraction

two year anniversary of our meeting
one year anniversary of our first hand held

cannot help but smile

electric sky is the theme
it’s all in the air
experience i will cherish

weirdly conscious
no obsessive thoughts
let it flow
not pushing for anything
thankful for the chance

your lips
your touch
your embrace
your protection

remembered and cherished

– – – –

soul sisters
twin tower
thankful for your presence
re fell into love
with you and our familiarity
we know each other so well
in sync in our stomping ground

i love you
please let me lead you
this first step
to fly into outer space
where nothing is the limit
freeing our body mind and souls

– – – –

brothers
family
best friends
familiar faces

wow
right?
motherfucking W O W

no other life i would rather live
luckiest human being alive
through my looking glass
absolutely loving everything
loving everyone
loving experiences
it’s so nice

– – – –

rusty
lack of expressive words
faded
closer

ugh
drunk off the weekend
filled up with the energies of this fantasyland
that one weekend of the year
where you can be who you truly want to be
expression of yourself fully
not judged
not critiqued
this free loving festival of people and neon lights
all happiness
the place to get lost
amongst ourselves
best headliners of the universe

i am so happy
so f u c k i n g happy

❤

regeneration

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

 

less naive
clearer sight

– – – –

obligatory fun
self worth gambles
thoroughly experienced
destination aborted

being here
identity almost lost
completely
fallen apart
lowest of the low
unrecognizable
who is this
she who is not i

habitual
level of self
jumped over the roof
splat
pieces
picking it ups
slowly
surely

falls apart
lets go
to integrate even better version
life mission
some unfinished cracks
other resealed cracks
outflows aspects untouched

– – – –

twelve days

the test run intended runned

two best friends
best partners in crime
miles around miles in the city
chasing notes
experiences of all kinds of sort

one new great fucking friend
inspiring in so many ways
engraving in me the bravery of motherhood
the love of a mother
that deep
that strong
that unconditional
utmost survivor
soul connection
solely made this trip the best ever
forever cherished
thank the universe completely
can’t wait to be reunited

twelve days

countless matches
three encounters
attraction to not usual mutual

full run of exchanges
a head twirling experience
half way did not knock homerun
no explanation
so much weird similarities
contrast in cyber exchanges
completely odd
still confused
got my last words out just now
settled
unexpected response
best kind of surprise
kind of over the top happies right now
spazzing inside
can it be real
feelings it might?
can’t actually deal at the moment
the least
new friend check

seventh
mysterious ski mask man
extreme gamble
lucky strike
southern giant gentleman
three amazing nights of kisses
two amazing nights of play
kind of really in sync
passionately casual
intimately connected
first twice since my lucky charm
no lingering feelings
upfront and cherishing
will definitely not be the last time ever
stay in touch check

– – – –

seven days
my free beautiful stallion
ups and downs
cheese on rice
bang for our buck

side by side beds
new intimacy levels
all jokes
nonstop reminiscing of black outs
wild baby boo

assured my loyalty
want to be that reflective being
want you to see the best of you through me
want nothing but the best for you
best experiences
best decisions
best geegees
another soul mate stamped and sealed

running through town
minority feeling
shitty sucks eat shit trumpers

notes exploring
tunes to our soul
this vibe
this life
this moment
wouldn’t trade it

adventure
#ihateyousomuch
#butterhalf
lucky you
fuckyes

– – – –

what is fucking life
this is the fucking life
i am living life

my life
my playground
some kind of high

ready to get back to reality
actual love of returning
tangible life that is real
goals and structure and olds

this city
rooted my familiarity
city to live with no restraints
no regrets
experiences of memories
all grows with parts of me
so grateful
thank you universe

can’t wait to be
h o m e

i g o

just sayin’

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

bend it don’t break it

– – – –

dots connected
missing in action

– – – –

disrupted
dethroned thee long ago
sort of bother
i guess

your sight
that condescending glare
who the fuck cares
it all drips with disdain
completely reflecting back onto your soul
havnt gotten the chance to tell you
your hatred and your negativity
shows to tell on your face

it’s okay
not worth my time
can’t even deal
not even same playing field
brutal truth
payce betch
trust me
it be the last time ever

out of left field
off of my chest
in n out

– – – –

the dots
back
aligning it all
assembling on command

foretelling le creative path
forgot i must’ve
but it came
came so hard

day 1 email
day 3-5 viva la fucking vegas
day 6 IN CLASS

what the fuck just happened
exactly the freakazoid aspect of my cells
no chance to hesitate
no time to rethink
this is the way to go
eight hours four classes in
insert vacuous invasion
finish is the goal
i push

– – – –

le penguin spirit animal
blessed with the ability to create anything and everything chosen in life
understanding the concept of team work and utilize it constantly in order to achieve what is wanted
knowing exactly where destined plus what i am trying to accomplish at all times
moving easily between spiritual and physical realms
including having a gift for lucid dreaming

owl notifies of the need to remove myself from the noise of life and become the still silent observer

(taking off to sin city)
bat asks to grow and become my own future emphasizing on moving forward and stay balanced in the present

(black and YELLOW.. zoom out.. feline)
tiger assures to remain persistent in achieving my goals; success is there but must be patient
thanked and relieved too much power

(orbiting.. circling.. round and round)
snake tells that i am in the process of transformation where old wounds are now healed allowing me to move forward without guilt or fear

(white fluff, brown, black midsize running across intersection in Slake)
dog reminds that i should always be truthful and loyal to myself; kindness > criticism

unconditional love

this is no time for me to be nervous
and or loose control
take a deep breathe WOOSAH
make sure i am relaxed
then decide the direction i need to move in
stay true to my highest self with this decision

let it be
accept
stay open

– – – –

infinitely at ease
amongst creativity
live there
breathe there
happy place

most wanted man
number six
that face

– – – –

haze
late bloomer
written over

b l o o m i n g

paper plane

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

 
how must you ache
i understand
at least you have me
i promise to make it
to make your sacrifices worth it

just a week
easily spared
meanings of gold

tears
aching for you
that selfish fucker
cannot describe
absolutely speechless

just do
at least
prove the least

– – – –

fifth day
twenty eighth day
two hundred eighty eighth day

two zero one six
no boys
no c o c a i n e

my numbers
little goals
every second that ticks
all the credit is mine
i’ve done it now

– – – –
– – – –

warped between thirteen and fourteen
first segment of the year
high and up above
with my golden wings
accelerating through with ease

a student to the earth
a lover to self fellow beings
a giver returning blessings
a master to focused thoughts

cannot lie
cannot say i am not greedy
i want it all
i want to feel it all
i want to embrace all of it

– – – –

vision

layers
my own space
rustic stories
originality
splashes of colour

opening my eye
seek standing still
in the moment
combination of the senses
product of my membrane

touch down
creatively flowing
enjoying the process
little pranks of le beloved mercury
laughing it off
retracing my thoughts

tradition and rules
research and decompose
out of the box i say
no box can contain this
i grow
expansion is due

looking forward
delighted to grasp
this future of mine
ready to fight relentlessly
for my own recognition

M I N E

tilted

~ alice's playground ~ Leave a comment

but i am actually good
can’t help if we’re tilted
i miss prosthesis and mended thoughts
trampled over beauty while singing their souls
i match them with my euphoria
when they said ‘je suis plus folle que toi’
don’t be a downer
i am in my right place

– – – –

rolling through day ten
nine days of no boys
no boys prioritized

much more focus
much more productivity
much more stabilized mood
much more happiness

tis truly great
proud am i
twenty days to go
infinite possibilities

– – – –

sisterhood
rebonded
resealed

best day ever
best captures ever
best everything ever

new direction?
together, maybe?
would be nice
must wait a bit to see

our respect
our love
our teamwork
our selflessness

pretty fucking awesome
more adventures please
tilted we are
til death do us part

– – – –

life
so good
itching to rebel
will i flip
whale i hold
time will tell

l i v i n g

– – – –
– – – –

twelve days
more whole than ever
w o w z a

clearer of what i seek
vision compiling

love
to share
to have
to hold

no bullshit
no fronts

make the best of
duration dont matter
as long as there’s growth

– – – –
– – – –

twentieth day

clearest now
you’re the one i like
i actually like you
your smile
your laugh
your uniqueness
your passion
your hands
your calmness
your safety
the way you look at me
the way you laugh with me

what i originally thought
appearance faded into the background
it wasn’t about that
i still think you’re that big thing
big thing coming for me

still ever so confused
all the lack of

being away defined my mind
tis actually isn’t lust or obsession
pure enjoyment in our soul connection
wonder if this does that for you as well

hopeful
i sincerely ask
the heavens and above
wait i shall
round and round

– – – –

big boy
sweetest
never have i received
this kind of affection
might be a bit much
kind of want to run
oddly stressful

shifting to appreciation
just have to remember
we accept the love we think we deserve
i deserve this
not only from him
but from any and all romantic connection to have
the beginning
new route
okay enjoy myself

– – – –

three and a half more days
wrapping it up
the bestest fucking year
the greatest fucking year

as if I had golden stars
shooting star rockets underneath my feet
flying me through the land of luck
high above cloud nine

savoring this dish called life
course by course
jaw dropping unravels
amazing moments experiences
never the same feels duplicates
plating tasting those perfectly imperfect bits

all new
all of the best
all of the glitz
i fucking love my life
i fucking love me

wishes granted
one after another
fortunes the theme
my whole entire life
delayed realization
to say the least, i swear

surreal
ethereal
bizarre
fanatical

x