flow

Your mind is constantly projecting—projecting itself. Your mind is constantly interfering with reality, giving it a color, shape, and form that are not its own. Your mind never allows you to see that which is; it allows you to see only that which it wants to see. -Osho

hence
listening tis a great gift
the grandest gift
to give
and to receive

today
i listened
i let my father speak
although most i’ve heard in times past
but today
it sounded different

through his many roles
provider he deemed of most value
his utmost priority
must provide
at any cost
at all cost

through that
in my perspective
he lost his sight on the prize

who are you providing for
what are you providing for

once upon a time
the drive was simple
to provide for family
to supply an abundance of
so family doesn’t endure hardship
to focus on being one
or so i assume

fast forward a drive-turned habit
habitually unstoppable
can’t stop
won’t stop
shan’t stop
take a deeper look inside
manipura of its utmost imbalance

through providing
you’ve lost unity
through providing
you’ve failed to see anything outside of
through providing
you’ve overcomplicated
through providing
you’ve destroyed
that raw seed of drive
the drive that brought you here today

no matter what happens
from your perspective
its all o k a y
its all e x c u s a b l e
its all w e l l w i t h i n r e a s o n
because at the end of the day
you’re still the provider
and you’re doing the best you can

the irony of life
is it
often the very thing that drives us
becomes the very thing that destroys us
often the very thing that entangles us
becomes the very thing we despise

one thing i did happen to catch
a rare truth of a statement
you admitted fault to parenting
the lack of in each five of us
admitting is the first step
bravo father bravo
it might not be too late

i didn’t interrupt
i watched you move your lips
listened as your thought process unfolded
bare
naked
raw
all that in relation of
communication at its best

how many chances do we get
rare occurrence all the same
life doesn’t stop spinning
can’t seem to draw my focus
mirror to you
perhaps
maybe

– – – –

dad i love you
i truly accept you for all that you are
thank you for showing me
all the to be’s
and not to be’s

i am thankful to be your daughter
US, i’d choose again in lifetimes over
what you provide
allowed me to fly high on this life of mine

you have given me an opportunity
the opportunity
to achieve something
to acquire that thing
unimaginable

i am on my way
through the halted chasing
space you’ve left behind
i have somehow collided
falling into me

– – – –

seek what is beautiful
seek the very thing you want
seek those feelings you lust
crave all that sensation you seek

quora answer to
how to improve
contrary to most
one stood out to me

close everything
stop reading
stop watching
just stop
cleanse yourself
until there is no society left inside
in turn
you might get a glimpse
that sparkle
that outlook that is uniquely yours
truly yours
and that’s the treasure to be cherished

part of lifes journey
the very concept that flows me

we are all born into this world
intuitively knowing
how we feel
what we want
what we like
what we don’t like
we did not have to mask that as babies
we were accepted as we are

soon, it changes
our parents tell us we’re wrong
our teachers tell us we’re wrong
our society tell us we’re wrong
they shove their ideal
their vision
their need to be the absolute
down our throat
through our entire being
derailing us so far from our inner need

we start to believe that
maybe that’s the life
maybe that’s the journey
maybe that’s the mate
to our doing

the furthest quest in life
is the one leading back to you
no city far enough
no river wide enough
no mountain high enough
no journey long enough
than the mission to unravel your in

who am i
what is life
who are you
why is life

purpose?
drive?
survive?
life?
how?
me?
when?

u n r i d d l e m e
please

– – – –

hi
there you are
its been a while
maybe cause its midnight
maybe because your busy mind finally rests

i miss you boo
i do
but i am so happy
everywhere i turn
i feel the love of john
i feel my mom’s love
my visions are actually becoming reality

i am so happy
i wish that for you
wishing you well
wishing you love
wishing you all the best

sorry i can’t be there
i no longer have that right
for all the right reasons
be well
never stop flowing~

redhairyogi007

year to  l e a r n
f u n  objective i deem
addition of  s e l f

s c h o o l  of sorts
understanding
identifying
c o m p r e h e n ding
proficiency of self
one level  u p

– – – –

2  0  1  8

  • f i n d  website designer
  • c l e a n  out storage
  • create/produce icy  s o n g
  • i f s  training
  • l a u g h ing  yoga training
  • restorative yoga training
  • host one icy class
  • host one dinner party with  c o l l a b  (aiming for march)
  • white out car  i n s t a l l a t i o n  (april)
  • learn  d u t c h
  • learn to  f l y   a helicopter
  • left nipple ring
  • tat removal
  • try to make one new dish/ w e e k l y
  • physical  s t r e n g t h  building: boxing, dance & acroyoga
  • d a i l y  blog of the things i see, read and learn

 

T R A V E L

  • san francisco o125-o129
  • new york city o221-o3o1
  • san francisco o322-o326
  • taiwan for 30th birthday
  • copenhagen o5o8
  • scanadavia & russia o512-o6o2
  • berlin o6o2
  • amsterdam o6o5
  • croatia o7o2
  • boom, belgium (tomorrowland?)
  • prague o8o7
  • budapest (sziget fesitval) o8o9
  • london?
  • japan?

 

– – – –

2  0  1  7  m y  r  e c a  p

  • love is infinite
    b i r t h  of
    my wildest dream
    d o  b e  g o o d
  • a c c e p t ance and letting go

in so much i read
so much i learn
if it comes, let it
if it goes, let it
how easier it is so said than done
for a type a control freakturning point
g o l d e n  i s l a n d lesson
it happened
and i truly let it go
d i g n i t y is mineseeked c l a r i t y of its entirety
understood that self knowledge was that l i g h t at the end of the tunnel
p a s s e r b y teacher identity i realized
self love through our perfectly i m p e r f e c t bits
l o g i c al perspective
my capability of faith and  l o y a l t y
life coach free of charge HAHA

life is good to me
best timing
heart filled with g r a t i t u d e to its fullest extent

  • joy of working
    smiling faces of pilgrim school
    ingrained memory
    heart warming i n n o c e n c e
  • sense of belonging
    shift of perspective
    be where i am
    see myself as one with all
    similarity > differences
    less distance
    being present
    being in me
    taste of inner peace
  • t r u s t
    i n  me
    in the  u n i v e r s e
    in others
  • f a m i l y
    resistance no more
    permission to allow them in
    their love language
    their nurture
    nothing comparesthe love i seeked elsewhere
    was right next to me
    they have been loving me
    in their way
    for as long as i can remember
    for as long as i have been around
    cleared to see
    cleared to feel
    cleared to receive
    not too late to clear to appreciate
  • little seed
    f i v e weeks f i v e days
    magical warmth
    motivation to g e t  b e t t e r
    b e  stronger
    acquire all that i can
    to provide a  s a f e  place
    to birth
    to grow
    at  y o u r   r e t u r n
    cellular memory
    for yous

 

N E W  P L A C E S

 

  • laguna beacho1o8-o114
    transformation
    nurture for my inner child
    appreciation for the big blue
  • phuket, thailand o4o8-o412
    witness of true love’s union ❤
  • ojai o8o4-o811
    mission statement
    secluded peace
    wee yogis
    golden island
    special needs child release
    turning point*
  • san francisco o831-o929
    home away from home
    self efficacy
    majectic greens
  • oahu & maui 1115-1122
    island fun
    last waves of letting go
    one with waterfall
    reunion of love souls

beginning of the end


miles high
new life i stride

so many unknowns
big and blurred
carries of emotions mix

three teaspoons of anxiousness
two full pours of hope
sprinkle of grieve
dash of adrenaline
one full stem of excitement,
chopped up and ready to spread
four cups of happiness
one full bowl of trust

i’m open
i feel like me again

– – – –

white suit white shoes
don’t touch por favor

oh gosh
our karma
what a funny little thing
you adorkable shit

fourteen months of experience
i laughed
i enjoyed
i embraced
i adapted
i learned
i pained
i listened
i shared
i compromised
i accommodated
i grew
and most of all,
i committed

i came out of this a whole new person
and i have no one to thank but you
i did loose myself in this swirl of fairy dust
but thankfully
it wasn’t too late
to catch myself and rise above

the experiences you gave me
even now
the seed growing in me
im making the best decision for us though
cannot be connected to you all life
different vibrations
must let you go to fly high

i thank thee
gratitude to the max
i wish for you
self clarity
self love
independence
to be the man that i know you can be

– – – –

new chapter
new life
so much new
where i should be

refind the old
adjoining the two
bigger better version four point oh
taking me to the best cycle yet

– – – –

past cycle of ten
one detrimental
two transformational
few casual
lots of passerbys

next cycle of ten
true
honest
growth
love
partner
it’s possible because i know me now

snap
capture
my soul through the lines
rediscover
the pure bliss of life
alongside
the gentle innocence
that surrounds my future

damn
long way i’ve come
pat on the back

never could i have ever imagined
never could i have ever thought
here i stand
self knowledge
self mastery
in various shapes and sizes

i’m intrigued by me
i’m in love with me
what more is to life

best life ever
best perspective ever

shirk

 
better each other
companionship
the sexiest kind
to grow
no games
be direct
life goals
extreme funs
endeavoring sights
unstoppable giggles
is what

c l e a r m i n d

no rush
stay strong
two thirds to go
time will tell

– – – –

intrigued by this
out of left field i say
building this odd connection
between this many miles apart
who wouldve thought
story sharing
pictures and greetings
its weird
can’t help but feel
probability tis big giant cloud?
i don’t know
but i will know

nice atm

– – – –

little trinkets
little flashbacks
always missing
m y l i t t l e p u n k
one and only lucky charm

how are you
how have you been
how are you eating
how have you slept

may life bring you nothing but the best
you deserve the best
if not the best of the best
know you’ll always get up so do your best
hold you hand, i wish
look forward to the next life with you
i think i love you always
always the best

– – – –

flew by it went
seven days down
explored the cities
mini me of mine

sick lines and structures
rigid culture and traditions
pretties nails and shizz
made yummies sushi and rice
heaven made bar be que we devoured
the hearts to hearts i cherish
blessing may it be at times
great memories for life

T O K Y I O O O DES

black black heart

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that intimate
that gooey
that shade

i gift to you
times two

– – – –

dizzo
swimming in white
floato
spinning in ty
licko
sucking in twice

– – – –

shallow thoughts
simple words
shrinking intelligence
swallow it down

– – – –

i said no
surprised myself
purposeless wasting stamina
believe i am strong
but i really am
you see?

c o u n t d o w n