afterlight

student of life!

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furthering me
resolution to complete books
choosing books

author OSHO
all sorts of titles
I WANT IT ALL
IT ALL SEDUCES ME SO
but i must make myself choose
what priorities
what values
i most desire to understand

FEAR; first and foremost
understanding and accepting the insecurities of life
fear is there
so look at it
go very very deep
a big part of understanding oneself, any self
is through fear

LOVE, FREEDOM and ALONENESS
a new vision of relating
no expectation of any sorts
so curious to the content it holds
aloneness.. detachment?
something i’ve been overcoming
fear of being alone took center stage
it made me feel small often
but i’ve recently discovered that
myself is the best company
and until i can be my own best friend, best confidant
be able to love me in the way i desire to be loved unconditionally
no one else
nothing else
can fill that void
OFF TOPIC
that’s where my mind takes me HA

last but definitely not least

CREATIVITY; alignment with my rebellion
unleashing the forces within
MY QUOTE FOR THE DAY
for the week
for the month
for the year
FOR LIFE, maybe!
rebellion comes so naturally to me
and i’ve only had my parents to rebel against
as well as anyone that loved me
i’ve acted so repulsively through my small ass mind
BUT NO MORE
i’m ready to evolve
to find my right rebellion in the world surrounds
insight!
I EGGGGGCITE

– – – –

– – – –

this sensation on my body
army of millions marching on my back it seems
no complaints
cherishing this humanly experience
my choice
endure it
necessity to move on up

my life trend
written
erase
rewrite
erase

history of my inks

back of left thumb summer o5′
broken test tube
bad chemistry
best buds from primary/secondary
nothing good ever comes of our gathering
oh but the most pure rebellious forms of life
16/17 *lasered four sessions

right ankle bone summer o5′
green leaf of the maryjane
HA life long companion i once deemed
had a dream of being the coolest grandma
smoking a joint on my rocking chair somewhere
OH MY EFFIN GAWWWD XD
16/17 *lasered once, retatted and removing again lol

back of left ear summer o6′
music notes of blue and green
the most important sense to me
for me to hide away from my brain
cherish notes of all kinds
cherished melodies
18 *lasered once, retatted

right hip august o7′
phoenix
WHAT THE FUCK
six feet under
spontaneity at its finest
dug his needle so deep
start of something i wish could have avoided
19 *covered with dragon

left wrist
NO REGRETS in black ink
first tat to remain in its original state
it was funny
first afterthought was that of I REGRET
i humor myself
i have learned to love this very deeply so
20 *

right wrist
McQueen in white ink
so daint
fragility of life
hung by a thread
in remembrance of my first hero
he who truly inspired that lost soul
in creations that last beyond life

you’ve got to know the rules to break them…that’s what i am here for – to demolish the rules but keep the tradition.
Alexander Mcqueen20 *

originally just right side body
ended up being whole back to half of right thigh
my DRAGON outline
game of throne
jk way before its time
made more sense dragon > phoenix
i am a dragon of 1988
underlining motive: wanted him to break up with me
i didn’t know how to get away
that toxic relationship
kept rebelling in areas that would drive him mad
kept pushing the limits
even when it was to the extent of hurting myself like so
but damn he still didn’t do as i presumed
breaking point for mom and dad alike
this broke them….
broke their fantasy of who they thought i was
i am sorry
21 *layered once at 21 and 29 – ongoing project

right forearm
FARever YOUNG in white ink
omysighggggggggggg
crazy summer of no consequence in mind
clumps of white
clips or memories fade in and out
summer of 12’
drifter of life
24 *covered

under right boob
to infinity and beyond
no… not a buzz lightyear fan per se
feeling unstoppable?
i have no idea where i was
where my mind was
but party
tail end of butterfly
wanted to sore into the sky
prior to last move to taiwan
encouragement for self i think
25 *

right thigh
stacks of roses
inspired by summer of styling
preen printed shirt
start of big vision in mind
led to my pilot artist friend for life
wheels started to turn
life began in motion
roses europe timothy
26 *first picosure laser session 2 days ago

right rib
blacked out TRIANGLE
obsession with this shape
the representation of perfect balance
none would stand
not without that perfect angle
life continues to shift
getting clean in my inner and outer being
isolated road to sobriety
isolated state of cleaning
cleaning my room but cleaning my brain too?
repeated pain to remind myself
this journey i embark
26 *this stays FOREVER

left back behind heart
hollow CIRCLE
for family
for my whole heart
it represents that never ending circle
that bounds us
to karma
to life
i felt something then
i felt whole for once of the first time ever
27 *this stays too

right forearm coverup
watercolor flower
late bloomer
blooming came later than most
still in process i feel
the subtleness
the new colors i allow in
it sets a mood
for my days to come
i love it
starting to discover what i want
how i want it
it feels good
27 *this is staying as well

last but not least

left collar bone
LOOK INSIDE
see me in the mirror
look deeper
this is for my inner child
the most pure form of my being
going through the darkest time of its life
night is darkest before dawn they say
i realize that now
that immense amount of pain
every little bit that i buried with my exile
i had to let it surface
to face my most deep my most dark
to set myself free
to love myself truly
i am truly whole
in this moment in time
that phase i shall never forget
this in memory of
the first of its kind
the piece of me that belonged
welcome home
28 *forever forever foreverrrrrrrrr

yas. my journey with le ink.
five artists
one friend
all me
FUCK hahaha
truth be told
i don’t think this is the end

– – – –

recovering
company of game of thrones
learning
cryto
researching
split
reading
osho

self love
self contentment
fuller hearts joy

i love my brother
i love my mother
i love my father
i love my family
i love my friends
i love love
i love me ❤