flirty thirty

good morning Louise

lets begin the day together

making sure my body are very comfortable
if there is any tension spots in my body that may have come from a difficult dream during the night
just breathe into that area
and let it go

feel how comfortable it is
for my body to be where it is
feel the warmth and the peace
and know that today will be a new day
such as i have never had before

i may have some general plans for the day
and i know what some of the experiences may be
but not all of them

when we awaken in the morning
we never know exactly exactly how the day will end
delightful surprises
and wonderful adventures are before us

ALL OF MY THOUGHTS CREATE MY FUTURE
every thought i think is creating my future
now it really doesn’t matter
what sort of thoughts i used to think in the past
in all those mornings i awaken to before

the only thing that matters is the kind of though i am choosing to think now
in this very moment

together now
lets release from my consciousness
all fear and anxiety
all anger and resentment
all guilt and the need for punishment
lets dissolve all sadness and jealousy
just let it go

those are not the thoughts we are going to use to create this new day
this is a new day
and a new beginning

feel the air as it goes in and out of my body

its such a miracle
the way my body breathes itself
the air comes into the lungs
then it is sent over to the heart where it mingles with the blood

and this oxygenated blood is circulated
throughout my body
through all the veins and arteries
down to the tiniest little capillaries
bathing
and soaking
and nourishing
every cell in my body

i don’t even have to think about how to do this
there is an intelligence in my body
that takes care of it for me
it breathes my body
it beats my heart
it digests my food

this intelligence enables me to see
to walk
to hold things
to communicate with others
and to love

there are so many things in our lives we take for granted
we so seldom take time out
to be thankful and grateful
for the many miracles we have in our every day lives
and for the miracles we call our bodies

too often,
we only concentrate
on what we do not have

it blesses our future
to be thankful
for what we do have now

it opens the way for the good to flow in
in ever increasing abundance

let us begin with appreciating the very bed we have slept in all night
think about how warm and comfortable it has kept my body
while i slept and did my dreamwork
and refreshed my mind and my body
thank my bed

bless the furniture in my home
that comforts my body
and fulfills various necessary functions and conveniences

we all have a favorite piece of furniture
have i ever thanked it for being there for me?
do that now

then think of the miracle of the electric light in my home
how wonderful it is to have it
think of all the things i can use electricity for

remember our appliances are extensions of ourselves
and just as our relationships with other people are more wonderful when we are loving
so it is with the relationships we have with what we call “things”
appliances and automobiles
do not break down when we are in good space

so mentally thank my refrigerator for being there
for keeping my food fresh for me

thank my stove for helping me cook all those meals

now what else do i have in mt kitchen
that i can bless with love?
do that now

now think of that modern miracle called my bathroom
even kings and queens were not able to experience the conveniences we take for granted only a century ago
so bless the plumbing system
that so easily and simply removes the waste products

the hot and cold water that is so readily available to us
when we just turn a small knob
the convenience of being able to bathe our bodies
whenever we desire
these are all miracles

bless the radio i listen to
and the television that entertains me

let us be grateful for the telephone that brings us love
and communications with people everywhere

bless my mailbox
and the postal service
that helps us communicate with people all over this planet called earth
in just a few days time
it is a miracle, that we take for granted

let us be thankful for the air that we breathe
which is so precious to us
and we take so for granted

when we exhale
we don’t even think about where our next breath is coming from
yet this incredible power
that has created us
has given us enough breath to last as long as we shall live

let us be thankful for the sunshine
and the rain
without the rain
the vegetation would die
and we would have a barren planet
without beauty or food

let us be thankful for the wind that clears the skies
and the beauty of the MOONLIGHT

bless the vegetation that feeds and nourishes me
whenever i eat
bless the food with love
and i thank it for giving its life to nourish me

now think of the clothing i wear
think of the infinite choices we have with colors and fabrics
to adorn and comfort our bodies

if it is hot
we can choose light, cool clothing
if it is cold
we can choose warm cozy fabrics to comfort us

think of the miracle called walking
how wonderful it is to be able to get up
and to move to a new place by walking
thank my feet
for taking me so many places in the world

then look at all the other forms of transportation we have to choose from
and be thankful for em’
there are roller skates
and skateboards
and bicycles
and buses
and trucks
and automobiles
and trains
and airplanes
and ships that sail upon the waters
we have our choice
and we take them so for granted

how often have we been angry
when our automobile did not perform perfectly

bless our car with love
and be aware of the miracle it is
to get into this comfortable piece of machinery
that moves us about this planet
with very few manipulations
we move forward to our destination
it is one of our daily miracles

the next time our plane is delayed
release the tendency to be angry
instead, acknowledge the incredible ability
to be able to get into a little metal tube
that rises up in the sky
and swiftly takes us
to another place on this planet
it is one of our safest forms of transportation
and planes need love
just as we do

let our minds go over the various relationships we have in our lives
bless them all with love
and be thankful for them
THEY ARE ALL OUR TEACHERS

there are special things in my life
that i am thankful for
so take this moment
to let my mind
gently and lovingly
move throughout my life
past or present
giving thanks for places
people
or experiences
that either have been
or are now in our lives

– – – –

i am grateful:
everything
every soul
every experience
that led me
to this point in time
to this point in life

thank you
i love you

– – – –

it is such a wonderful feeling to be thankful
it prepares and opens the way
for more good to come into our lives

there is a power
and a presence
that resides within us
that is always there
to lead us
and to guide us
and make smooth and easy our ways

all we need to do
is to acknowledge this
and allow it to work for us

too often
when we awaken in the morning,
we leap out of bed
and try to push our way through life
controlling everything in sight
but that’s not how this power works

it’s like trying to control our breathing
and our heartbeat
or our digestion

if we try
all we do
is interfere and upset
the natural rhythm and flow
of our bodily processes

the best thing we can do for our body
is to feed it natural foods and beverages
to exercise in ways that are a pleasure to us
and to allow the intelligence in the body
to take care of all the rest

so it is with our lives
we think positive and loving thoughts
we forgive others
we are kind to ourselves mentally
and then we allow the intelligence of the universe
to take over
and create which is for our highest good
and greatest joy

this way
the process works smoothly

the power that created us
has given us the power
to create our lives
the power of choice and the thoughts we think

we have INFINITE choice
of that we can choose to think

these choices
create our future

if we choose hurt and anger and resentment
then we would just create more hurt and anger and resentment

IF WE WANT LOVE
WE MUST THINK LOVING THOUGHTS

IF WE WANT JOY
WE MUST THINK JOY

IF WE WANT TO EXPERIENCE PEACE AND CALM
WE MUST THINK PEACEFUL THOUGHTS

if we want prosperity
then we must open ourselves to it mentally

if we want to flow creatively
then we must acknowledge our ability

say this within mentally:
I AM AN OPEN CHANNEL FOR DIVINE IDEAS TO FLOW THROUGH ME
and the creativity of the universe
now expresses through me
that which i need to know
is revealed to me
and whatever i need
comes to me

I AM DIVINELY PROTECTED AND GUIDED
and my way is made smooth and easy

one of the things that create so many problems for us
is thoughts of anger and resentment and blame

so let us take a moment
before we actively begin our day
to consciously dissolve that from within our mind

please join in saying
i release all need
for anger or resentment or blame

i truly forgive
all those that need forgiving
and i forgive myself

i look forward to this day
with love and peace and joy
and anticipation
of abundant good
in every area

where ever i am going today
send love ahead to that place
if i am going shopping
then send love ahead of me
to the market
or the store
to the building itself
to all the merchandise in it
to all the people
to the customers
to the employees and the owners

know that i will be guided
to make the perfect selections that will benefit me the most
and both me and the store
will be blessed and prospered

do the same thing
if i am going to have something repaired
or if i’m going to see a lawyer
or a doctor
or a dentist

if i am going to work this morning
then do the same thing
send love ahead of me
to my place of business
to the building
to the people i work with
and the people i work for
to the furniture and equipment that i use
and to anything else i will come in contact with

let us declare together
that this is healthy
harmonious
loving
prosperous
and creative day for me
that it filled with joy
that i welcome change and adventure
that i bring new experiences and new people
into my life

if there is anyone
i expect to meet today
that irritates me in any way
just bless them with love
bless them with love
the love i send to them will return to me, MULTIPLIED
and i will benefit in ways
i cannot even imagine

whatever we give out
returns to us

as we go through this day
say over and over to ourselves
two or three hundred times is barely enough
i approve of myself
i approve of myself

say it with me right now ALOUD

i approve of myself
i approve of myself

i am worth loving
i am willing to change and learn a new way of expressing and experiencing life

i now begin to accept myself exactly as i am
i approve of myself

let this day be filled with love for me
let this day be peaceful and calm
let this day bring new insights, new understandings
let this day bring unexpected prosperity
let this be a day of great joy

this is my day
this is a GOOD day
this is a new day

THIS IS ONE OF THE BESTEST DAYS I HAVE EVER HAD

THIS IS A NEW BEGINNING
go forth
and enjoy
all that there is

i love you
and thank you for your daily guidance

take some nice, deep breaths now
feel the energy filling our bodies
open our eyes
STRETCHHHHHHHH
get up

go forth and enjoy it ALL ❤

– – – –
– – – –

life
oh what a funnny thing
how could i have ever imagined
to be where i am
in life
physcially
and mentally
four years of transformation

better than best
my wise besto once told me
about the things the universe can bring
no doubt
better than my wildest dreams
and its with my minds shift
to appreciate all that was already surrounding me

i feel so lucky
so grateful
i wake up with the biggest smile
every single morning
how could i have lived life
not seeing all the things
not appreciating all the relationships
its made my third eye shine

rawr
i know im getting mushy
but serious
what the fuck
how can anyone be as lucky as me

still alive after all the candies and whites
even more optimistic than ever before with this life’s roller coaster
hahahahahahhaha
oh yeah
powerful mind

thirty feels good already
today i rely on myself
to bring forth the most happiness
one year difference
how amazing
self love journey
keep on going

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
peeeeeeeeeeee
dooooooooo

fa la la la la la la la

flow

Your mind is constantly projecting—projecting itself. Your mind is constantly interfering with reality, giving it a color, shape, and form that are not its own. Your mind never allows you to see that which is; it allows you to see only that which it wants to see. -Osho

hence
listening tis a great gift
the grandest gift
to give
and to receive

today
i listened
i let my father speak
although most i’ve heard in times past
but today
it sounded different

through his many roles
provider he deemed of most value
his utmost priority
must provide
at any cost
at all cost

through that
in my perspective
he lost his sight on the prize

who are you providing for
what are you providing for

once upon a time
the drive was simple
to provide for family
to supply an abundance of
so family doesn’t endure hardship
to focus on being one
or so i assume

fast forward a drive-turned habit
habitually unstoppable
can’t stop
won’t stop
shan’t stop
take a deeper look inside
manipura of its utmost imbalance

through providing
you’ve lost unity
through providing
you’ve failed to see anything outside of
through providing
you’ve overcomplicated
through providing
you’ve destroyed
that raw seed of drive
the drive that brought you here today

no matter what happens
from your perspective
its all o k a y
its all e x c u s a b l e
its all w e l l w i t h i n r e a s o n
because at the end of the day
you’re still the provider
and you’re doing the best you can

the irony of life
is it
often the very thing that drives us
becomes the very thing that destroys us
often the very thing that entangles us
becomes the very thing we despise

one thing i did happen to catch
a rare truth of a statement
you admitted fault to parenting
the lack of in each five of us
admitting is the first step
bravo father bravo
it might not be too late

i didn’t interrupt
i watched you move your lips
listened as your thought process unfolded
bare
naked
raw
all that in relation of
communication at its best

how many chances do we get
rare occurrence all the same
life doesn’t stop spinning
can’t seem to draw my focus
mirror to you
perhaps
maybe

– – – –

dad i love you
i truly accept you for all that you are
thank you for showing me
all the to be’s
and not to be’s

i am thankful to be your daughter
US, i’d choose again in lifetimes over
what you provide
allowed me to fly high on this life of mine

you have given me an opportunity
the opportunity
to achieve something
to acquire that thing
unimaginable

i am on my way
through the halted chasing
space you’ve left behind
i have somehow collided
falling into me

– – – –

seek what is beautiful
seek the very thing you want
seek those feelings you lust
crave all that sensation you seek

quora answer to
how to improve
contrary to most
one stood out to me

close everything
stop reading
stop watching
just stop
cleanse yourself
until there is no society left inside
in turn
you might get a glimpse
that sparkle
that outlook that is uniquely yours
truly yours
and that’s the treasure to be cherished

part of lifes journey
the very concept that flows me

we are all born into this world
intuitively knowing
how we feel
what we want
what we like
what we don’t like
we did not have to mask that as babies
we were accepted as we are

soon, it changes
our parents tell us we’re wrong
our teachers tell us we’re wrong
our society tell us we’re wrong
they shove their ideal
their vision
their need to be the absolute
down our throat
through our entire being
derailing us so far from our inner need

we start to believe that
maybe that’s the life
maybe that’s the journey
maybe that’s the mate
to our doing

the furthest quest in life
is the one leading back to you
no city far enough
no river wide enough
no mountain high enough
no journey long enough
than the mission to unravel your in

who am i
what is life
who are you
why is life

purpose?
drive?
survive?
life?
how?
me?
when?

u n r i d d l e m e
please

– – – –

hi
there you are
its been a while
maybe cause its midnight
maybe because your busy mind finally rests

i miss you boo
i do
but i am so happy
everywhere i turn
i feel the love of john
i feel my mom’s love
my visions are actually becoming reality

i am so happy
i wish that for you
wishing you well
wishing you love
wishing you all the best

sorry i can’t be there
i no longer have that right
for all the right reasons
be well
never stop flowing~

afterlight

student of life!

– – – –

furthering me
resolution to complete books
choosing books

author OSHO
all sorts of titles
I WANT IT ALL
IT ALL SEDUCES ME SO
but i must make myself choose
what priorities
what values
i most desire to understand

FEAR; first and foremost
understanding and accepting the insecurities of life
fear is there
so look at it
go very very deep
a big part of understanding oneself, any self
is through fear

LOVE, FREEDOM and ALONENESS
a new vision of relating
no expectation of any sorts
so curious to the content it holds
aloneness.. detachment?
something i’ve been overcoming
fear of being alone took center stage
it made me feel small often
but i’ve recently discovered that
myself is the best company
and until i can be my own best friend, best confidant
be able to love me in the way i desire to be loved unconditionally
no one else
nothing else
can fill that void
OFF TOPIC
that’s where my mind takes me HA

last but definitely not least

CREATIVITY; alignment with my rebellion
unleashing the forces within
MY QUOTE FOR THE DAY
for the week
for the month
for the year
FOR LIFE, maybe!
rebellion comes so naturally to me
and i’ve only had my parents to rebel against
as well as anyone that loved me
i’ve acted so repulsively through my small ass mind
BUT NO MORE
i’m ready to evolve
to find my right rebellion in the world surrounds
insight!
I EGGGGGCITE

– – – –

– – – –

this sensation on my body
army of millions marching on my back it seems
no complaints
cherishing this humanly experience
my choice
endure it
necessity to move on up

my life trend
written
erase
rewrite
erase

history of my inks

back of left thumb summer o5′
broken test tube
bad chemistry
best buds from primary/secondary
nothing good ever comes of our gathering
oh but the most pure rebellious forms of life
16/17 *lasered four sessions

right ankle bone summer o5′
green leaf of the maryjane
HA life long companion i once deemed
had a dream of being the coolest grandma
smoking a joint on my rocking chair somewhere
OH MY EFFIN GAWWWD XD
16/17 *lasered once, retatted and removing again lol

back of left ear summer o6′
music notes of blue and green
the most important sense to me
for me to hide away from my brain
cherish notes of all kinds
cherished melodies
18 *lasered once, retatted

right hip august o7′
phoenix
WHAT THE FUCK
six feet under
spontaneity at its finest
dug his needle so deep
start of something i wish could have avoided
19 *covered with dragon

left wrist
NO REGRETS in black ink
first tat to remain in its original state
it was funny
first afterthought was that of I REGRET
i humor myself
i have learned to love this very deeply so
20 *

right wrist
McQueen in white ink
so daint
fragility of life
hung by a thread
in remembrance of my first hero
he who truly inspired that lost soul
in creations that last beyond life

you’ve got to know the rules to break them…that’s what i am here for – to demolish the rules but keep the tradition.
Alexander Mcqueen20 *

originally just right side body
ended up being whole back to half of right thigh
my DRAGON outline
game of throne
jk way before its time
made more sense dragon > phoenix
i am a dragon of 1988
underlining motive: wanted him to break up with me
i didn’t know how to get away
that toxic relationship
kept rebelling in areas that would drive him mad
kept pushing the limits
even when it was to the extent of hurting myself like so
but damn he still didn’t do as i presumed
breaking point for mom and dad alike
this broke them….
broke their fantasy of who they thought i was
i am sorry
21 *layered once at 21 and 29 – ongoing project

right forearm
FARever YOUNG in white ink
omysighggggggggggg
crazy summer of no consequence in mind
clumps of white
clips or memories fade in and out
summer of 12’
drifter of life
24 *covered

under right boob
to infinity and beyond
no… not a buzz lightyear fan per se
feeling unstoppable?
i have no idea where i was
where my mind was
but party
tail end of butterfly
wanted to sore into the sky
prior to last move to taiwan
encouragement for self i think
25 *

right thigh
stacks of roses
inspired by summer of styling
preen printed shirt
start of big vision in mind
led to my pilot artist friend for life
wheels started to turn
life began in motion
roses europe timothy
26 *first picosure laser session 2 days ago

right rib
blacked out TRIANGLE
obsession with this shape
the representation of perfect balance
none would stand
not without that perfect angle
life continues to shift
getting clean in my inner and outer being
isolated road to sobriety
isolated state of cleaning
cleaning my room but cleaning my brain too?
repeated pain to remind myself
this journey i embark
26 *this stays FOREVER

left back behind heart
hollow CIRCLE
for family
for my whole heart
it represents that never ending circle
that bounds us
to karma
to life
i felt something then
i felt whole for once of the first time ever
27 *this stays too

right forearm coverup
watercolor flower
late bloomer
blooming came later than most
still in process i feel
the subtleness
the new colors i allow in
it sets a mood
for my days to come
i love it
starting to discover what i want
how i want it
it feels good
27 *this is staying as well

last but not least

left collar bone
LOOK INSIDE
see me in the mirror
look deeper
this is for my inner child
the most pure form of my being
going through the darkest time of its life
night is darkest before dawn they say
i realize that now
that immense amount of pain
every little bit that i buried with my exile
i had to let it surface
to face my most deep my most dark
to set myself free
to love myself truly
i am truly whole
in this moment in time
that phase i shall never forget
this in memory of
the first of its kind
the piece of me that belonged
welcome home
28 *forever forever foreverrrrrrrrr

yas. my journey with le ink.
five artists
one friend
all me
FUCK hahaha
truth be told
i don’t think this is the end

– – – –

recovering
company of game of thrones
learning
cryto
researching
split
reading
osho

self love
self contentment
fuller hearts joy

i love my brother
i love my mother
i love my father
i love my family
i love my friends
i love love
i love me ❤

beginning of the end


miles high
new life i stride

so many unknowns
big and blurred
carries of emotions mix

three teaspoons of anxiousness
two full pours of hope
sprinkle of grieve
dash of adrenaline
one full stem of excitement,
chopped up and ready to spread
four cups of happiness
one full bowl of trust

i’m open
i feel like me again

– – – –

white suit white shoes
don’t touch por favor

oh gosh
our karma
what a funny little thing
you adorkable shit

fourteen months of experience
i laughed
i enjoyed
i embraced
i adapted
i learned
i pained
i listened
i shared
i compromised
i accommodated
i grew
and most of all,
i committed

i came out of this a whole new person
and i have no one to thank but you
i did loose myself in this swirl of fairy dust
but thankfully
it wasn’t too late
to catch myself and rise above

the experiences you gave me
even now
the seed growing in me
im making the best decision for us though
cannot be connected to you all life
different vibrations
must let you go to fly high

i thank thee
gratitude to the max
i wish for you
self clarity
self love
independence
to be the man that i know you can be

– – – –

new chapter
new life
so much new
where i should be

refind the old
adjoining the two
bigger better version four point oh
taking me to the best cycle yet

– – – –

past cycle of ten
one detrimental
two transformational
few casual
lots of passerbys

next cycle of ten
true
honest
growth
love
partner
it’s possible because i know me now

snap
capture
my soul through the lines
rediscover
the pure bliss of life
alongside
the gentle innocence
that surrounds my future

damn
long way i’ve come
pat on the back

never could i have ever imagined
never could i have ever thought
here i stand
self knowledge
self mastery
in various shapes and sizes

i’m intrigued by me
i’m in love with me
what more is to life

best life ever
best perspective ever

tilted

but i am actually good
can’t help if we’re tilted
i miss prosthesis and mended thoughts
trampled over beauty while singing their souls
i match them with my euphoria
when they said ‘je suis plus folle que toi’
don’t be a downer
i am in my right place

– – – –

rolling through day ten
nine days of no boys
no boys prioritized

much more focus
much more productivity
much more stabilized mood
much more happiness

tis truly great
proud am i
twenty days to go
infinite possibilities

– – – –

sisterhood
rebonded
resealed

best day ever
best captures ever
best everything ever

new direction?
together, maybe?
would be nice
must wait a bit to see

our respect
our love
our teamwork
our selflessness

pretty fucking awesome
more adventures please
tilted we are
til death do us part

– – – –

life
so good
itching to rebel
will i flip
whale i hold
time will tell

l i v i n g

– – – –
– – – –

twelve days
more whole than ever
w o w z a

clearer of what i seek
vision compiling

love
to share
to have
to hold

no bullshit
no fronts

make the best of
duration dont matter
as long as there’s growth

– – – –
– – – –

twentieth day

clearest now
you’re the one i like
i actually like you
your smile
your laugh
your uniqueness
your passion
your hands
your calmness
your safety
the way you look at me
the way you laugh with me

what i originally thought
appearance faded into the background
it wasn’t about that
i still think you’re that big thing
big thing coming for me

still ever so confused
all the lack of

being away defined my mind
tis actually isn’t lust or obsession
pure enjoyment in our soul connection
wonder if this does that for you as well

hopeful
i sincerely ask
the heavens and above
wait i shall
round and round

– – – –

big boy
sweetest
never have i received
this kind of affection
might be a bit much
kind of want to run
oddly stressful

shifting to appreciation
just have to remember
we accept the love we think we deserve
i deserve this
not only from him
but from any and all romantic connection to have
the beginning
new route
okay enjoy myself

– – – –

three and a half more days
wrapping it up
the bestest fucking year
the greatest fucking year

as if I had golden stars
shooting star rockets underneath my feet
flying me through the land of luck
high above cloud nine

savoring this dish called life
course by course
jaw dropping unravels
amazing moments experiences
never the same feels duplicates
plating tasting those perfectly imperfect bits

all new
all of the best
all of the glitz
i fucking love my life
i fucking love me

wishes granted
one after another
fortunes the theme
my whole entire life
delayed realization
to say the least, i swear

surreal
ethereal
bizarre
fanatical

x

words

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If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.

lesson of my life

– – – –

words
they hurt
they break
they damage
they discourage
they start to mean nothing

why always say the worst to the ones you love most?

family should come first
family will come first
J V M R
reprioritize

the ones that matter
should be showered with my love
be shown the best of me

best family ever
dont take them for granted

L O V E