alicesplayground

regeneration

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less naive
clearer sight

– – – –

obligatory fun
self worth gambles
thoroughly experienced
destination aborted

being here
identity almost lost
completely
fallen apart
lowest of the low
unrecognizable
who is this
she who is not i

habitual
level of self
jumped over the roof
splat
pieces
picking it ups
slowly
surely

falls apart
lets go
to integrate even better version
life mission
some unfinished cracks
other resealed cracks
outflows aspects untouched

– – – –

twelve days

the test run intended runned

two best friends
best partners in crime
miles around miles in the city
chasing notes
experiences of all kinds of sort

one new great fucking friend
inspiring in so many ways
engraving in me the bravery of motherhood
the love of a mother
that deep
that strong
that unconditional
utmost survivor
soul connection
solely made this trip the best ever
forever cherished
thank the universe completely
can’t wait to be reunited

twelve days

countless matches
three encounters
attraction to not usual mutual

full run of exchanges
a head twirling experience
half way did not knock homerun
no explanation
so much weird similarities
contrast in cyber exchanges
completely odd
still confused
got my last words out just now
settled
unexpected response
best kind of surprise
kind of over the top happies right now
spazzing inside
can it be real
feelings it might?
can’t actually deal at the moment
the least
new friend check

seventh
mysterious ski mask man
extreme gamble
lucky strike
southern giant gentleman
three amazing nights of kisses
two amazing nights of play
kind of really in sync
passionately casual
intimately connected
first twice since my lucky charm
no lingering feelings
upfront and cherishing
will definitely not be the last time ever
stay in touch check

– – – –

seven days
my free beautiful stallion
ups and downs
cheese on rice
bang for our buck

side by side beds
new intimacy levels
all jokes
nonstop reminiscing of black outs
wild baby boo

assured my loyalty
want to be that reflective being
want you to see the best of you through me
want nothing but the best for you
best experiences
best decisions
best geegees
another soul mate stamped and sealed

running through town
minority feeling
shitty sucks eat shit trumpers

notes exploring
tunes to our soul
this vibe
this life
this moment
wouldn’t trade it

adventure
#ihateyousomuch
#butterhalf
lucky you
fuckyes

– – – –

what is fucking life
this is the fucking life
i am living life

my life
my playground
some kind of high

ready to get back to reality
actual love of returning
tangible life that is real
goals and structure and olds

this city
rooted my familiarity
city to live with no restraints
no regrets
experiences of memories
all grows with parts of me
so grateful
thank you universe

can’t wait to be
h o m e

i g o

remixed

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feels

last friday
turmoil’s the word
twice the chime
inner disruption
of all sorts and size
through thoughts and talks
out of the hole I climbed

new moon
solar eclipse

big boy
three pages written
closure
still no bad feelings
unbelievable
karmic debt
i fucking adore you
but I deserve better
thank you
and no thank you

may you find
goodbye
wishing you happies

released
with harm to none

– – – –

my loveliest love bug
made me so touched
her decision
recognized
stamp, sealed and bow tied
stuck together for life

grow olds together
throw our kitties in the air!

– – – –

on the dot
elements in place
it is my time

i cannot wait
to greet
to meet
to connect
to grow

i made promises
be nothing but loving
understanding
supportive
equal partner
feminine seduction
sexual fantasies

it’s going to be great
awesome to say the least
completed

– – – –

magic wand
glitzy wishy powder
sprinkled

the luck
i am so lucky

– – – –

can’t believe of reconnection
how amazing
i love that group of guys
they’re amazing
they opened my eyes!
a chance to collect
we’ll see ❤

– – – –

L A I A D

oceyes

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not alone
semi circle army
all aides
sustaining my lucky streak

nurturing warm soul i’ve never had
all preciousness
completely grateful
all this

coming true

– – – –

being true to self
in the moment
say what i want to say
do what i want to do
Y A S

– – – –

Yemaya

strange clouds fragments of glory
envisioning glimmering stars of a story
commanding you,
amongst the goddesses of the water

with your laughter
the storm you disarm
with your kind word
you return the calm

the breeze of the east brings you gentle life
Goddess of the sea and the living waters

your cheek kisses the beautiful moon
with majesty and stars it filled your mind
the waves carry the beautiful roses
which the waters will hide
their aromas are the hope that makes you
the Goddess of the Sea

may the candle in the west
ocean like

– – – –

emptied of words
i feel
w e i r d
i say
must be the moon

– – – –
– – – –

solitude

this is new
i like this
but is it okay
to be so disconnected

i build
sticks and glue
i feel
lost in time

this must be what remii feels
i always wondered
‘aren’t you tired?’
i get it
puzzling of what’s inside your mind
turning it inside out
it is an experience
may this stay
forever
i like this very much

– – – –

completely boyless atm
no space
no time
no brain cells to blindly communicate
the firsts to feel
what’s whole what’s all mine

not a cell to doubt
my next soul mate is around the corner
he’ll be great
he’ll appreciate my journey
he’ll be kind
i can’t wait to meet that knight in shining armor
we’ll conquer the world
haha
maybe
we’ll see
we’ll embark on an adventure
adventure of a life time
i can’t wait yeehah

hey cutes eye see you

– – – –

who’s meant to stay
shall stay
who’s meant to otherwise
shall do as they please

i am me
and there’s no one i’d rather be

– – – –

and um
i need to join shopaholics anonymous
some kind of feels
no control
haha

its actually not so bad
compared to before
BUT
must stop
money in the bank won’t hurt

eliminate
minimize
clean out my mind

– – – –

the bar and the vibe
fucking blows my mind
it collaborates so well
wetting me beyond all means

ahh Mmmm thats right
the sounds
the tingles
the sensations

fuck that’s good

right there
keep going
n i c e
and slow
the right pressure
that combination
i melt
completely

– – – –

i pray
stay in touch
spirituality
stay in tuned

L O V e

just sayin’

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bend it don’t break it

– – – –

dots connected
missing in action

– – – –

disrupted
dethroned thee long ago
sort of bother
i guess

your sight
that condescending glare
who the fuck cares
it all drips with disdain
completely reflecting back onto your soul
havnt gotten the chance to tell you
your hatred and your negativity
shows to tell on your face

it’s okay
not worth my time
can’t even deal
not even same playing field
brutal truth
payce betch
trust me
it be the last time ever

out of left field
off of my chest
in n out

– – – –

the dots
back
aligning it all
assembling on command

foretelling le creative path
forgot i must’ve
but it came
came so hard

day 1 email
day 3-5 viva la fucking vegas
day 6 IN CLASS

what the fuck just happened
exactly the freakazoid aspect of my cells
no chance to hesitate
no time to rethink
this is the way to go
eight hours four classes in
insert vacuous invasion
finish is the goal
i push

– – – –

le penguin spirit animal
blessed with the ability to create anything and everything chosen in life
understanding the concept of team work and utilize it constantly in order to achieve what is wanted
knowing exactly where destined plus what i am trying to accomplish at all times
moving easily between spiritual and physical realms
including having a gift for lucid dreaming

owl notifies of the need to remove myself from the noise of life and become the still silent observer

(taking off to sin city)
bat asks to grow and become my own future emphasizing on moving forward and stay balanced in the present

(black and YELLOW.. zoom out.. feline)
tiger assures to remain persistent in achieving my goals; success is there but must be patient
thanked and relieved too much power

(orbiting.. circling.. round and round)
snake tells that i am in the process of transformation where old wounds are now healed allowing me to move forward without guilt or fear

(white fluff, brown, black midsize running across intersection in Slake)
dog reminds that i should always be truthful and loyal to myself; kindness > criticism

unconditional love

this is no time for me to be nervous
and or loose control
take a deep breathe WOOSAH
make sure i am relaxed
then decide the direction i need to move in
stay true to my highest self with this decision

let it be
accept
stay open

– – – –

infinitely at ease
amongst creativity
live there
breathe there
happy place

most wanted man
number six
that face

– – – –

haze
late bloomer
written over

b l o o m i n g

paper plane

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how must you ache
i understand
at least you have me
i promise to make it
to make your sacrifices worth it

just a week
easily spared
meanings of gold

tears
aching for you
that selfish fucker
cannot describe
absolutely speechless

just do
at least
prove the least

– – – –

fifth day
twenty eighth day
two hundred eighty eighth day

two zero one six
no boys
no c o c a i n e

my numbers
little goals
every second that ticks
all the credit is mine
i’ve done it now

– – – –
– – – –

warped between thirteen and fourteen
first segment of the year
high and up above
with my golden wings
accelerating through with ease

a student to the earth
a lover to self fellow beings
a giver returning blessings
a master to focused thoughts

cannot lie
cannot say i am not greedy
i want it all
i want to feel it all
i want to embrace all of it

– – – –

vision

layers
my own space
rustic stories
originality
splashes of colour

opening my eye
seek standing still
in the moment
combination of the senses
product of my membrane

touch down
creatively flowing
enjoying the process
little pranks of le beloved mercury
laughing it off
retracing my thoughts

tradition and rules
research and decompose
out of the box i say
no box can contain this
i grow
expansion is due

looking forward
delighted to grasp
this future of mine
ready to fight relentlessly
for my own recognition

M I N E

tilted

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but i am actually good
can’t help if we’re tilted
i miss prosthesis and mended thoughts
trampled over beauty while singing their souls
i match them with my euphoria
when they said ‘je suis plus folle que toi’
don’t be a downer
i am in my right place

– – – –

rolling through day ten
nine days of no boys
no boys prioritized

much more focus
much more productivity
much more stabilized mood
much more happiness

tis truly great
proud am i
twenty days to go
infinite possibilities

– – – –

sisterhood
rebonded
resealed

best day ever
best captures ever
best everything ever

new direction?
together, maybe?
would be nice
must wait a bit to see

our respect
our love
our teamwork
our selflessness

pretty fucking awesome
more adventures please
tilted we are
til death do us part

– – – –

life
so good
itching to rebel
will i flip
whale i hold
time will tell

l i v i n g

– – – –
– – – –

twelve days
more whole than ever
w o w z a

clearer of what i seek
vision compiling

love
to share
to have
to hold

no bullshit
no fronts

make the best of
duration dont matter
as long as there’s growth

– – – –
– – – –

twentieth day

clearest now
you’re the one i like
i actually like you
your smile
your laugh
your uniqueness
your passion
your hands
your calmness
your safety
the way you look at me
the way you laugh with me

what i originally thought
appearance faded into the background
it wasn’t about that
i still think you’re that big thing
big thing coming for me

still ever so confused
all the lack of

being away defined my mind
tis actually isn’t lust or obsession
pure enjoyment in our soul connection
wonder if this does that for you as well

hopeful
i sincerely ask
the heavens and above
wait i shall
round and round

– – – –

big boy
sweetest
never have i received
this kind of affection
might be a bit much
kind of want to run
oddly stressful

shifting to appreciation
just have to remember
we accept the love we think we deserve
i deserve this
not only from him
but from any and all romantic connection to have
the beginning
new route
okay enjoy myself

– – – –

three and a half more days
wrapping it up
the bestest fucking year
the greatest fucking year

as if I had golden stars
shooting star rockets underneath my feet
flying me through the land of luck
high above cloud nine

savoring this dish called life
course by course
jaw dropping unravels
amazing moments experiences
never the same feels duplicates
plating tasting those perfectly imperfect bits

all new
all of the best
all of the glitz
i fucking love my life
i fucking love me

wishes granted
one after another
fortunes the theme
my whole entire life
delayed realization
to say the least, i swear

surreal
ethereal
bizarre
fanatical

x

real

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code

don’t say no
no doors closed
all roads opened
the pick of the world

– – – –

the inevitable
not so bad actually
facing it soberly
ace of clubs it shuts

karmic
i owe you
if this is all
praise the lord
farewell can easily be bid

neptune
the fantasy to you
rose colored goggles
can’t see me for who i am
i can see that
if not even purposely driven
not sure
i assumed of more pull
be it, let go

pluto
want to lure you in
want the restriction
want you to wear your heart for me
if the chance
i shall conquer
i seldomly swear

three times the fun
waits the game
hope to cross paths again
i am grateful
good riddance to you for now

xoxo

– – – –

treasure map
so surreal
is this really happening
two years later
long overdue
wonder what’s in store
honest no game
in it just for the fun
perfect aesthetics
look forward to
touch, feel, play
don’t tease
for real
come inside
i am ready

– – – –

the accent
the gentleman
completely wowed
expecting fuckboy nonetheless
tomorrows the night
apologize for the wait
best version is worth it
pinky promised

good asset
toy i deem

– – – –
– – – –

creative space
talents the bore
what is the motive
the green?
the booze?
the women?
the passion?
how to assume ones
unsure
who cares
the glitz and glamour
always replaced
one after another
the sooner you look
the clearer it becomes
transparent

melodic
dark
grunge

what does that all embody?
what is everyone chasing?
what glosses these glasses?
dream chasing money back guarantee?
questions questions questions
up close and personal
negatively positive spaces

problem child
my muse
my inspiration
opening my eyes
growing visuals
love it
embrace it

– – – –

after thoughts
actual genuine
facade to impress the glam
goofy goody what
going under
blown up it may be
best of luck to you

pretty face
layered presentation
yet to puzzle
open to create
present more
further
we shall see

name necklace
bid farewell
five years
tear
fuck my life
carelessnesssssss

– – – –
– – – –

tucking the rest of the year up
managing the thoughts carefully
thank all that not belong
welcome all ye positive and bright

focusing on this being
the being of self
the beings of my space

make it full
make it passion
make it shine
make it completely mine

– – – –

which which
L O VE

rainbow

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somewhere
over that
over that hump
i am

sounds of the ocean
waves of the atlantic
the best vibes
with my one and only

– – – –

going along
some kinds of fun
wazing through crowds
experiencing visual forms
creative lives
we us then
sacred works of all
interconnected through this platform
free expression
venus’s the limit
get on that

boxes of cubicles
heart and souls
all bits of brain juice
splashes of the taints
glossy over that source of boom

vibrance
minimal
shapes
contrast
influenced
light up
steel works of art
art that tells of ones deepest secrets

its that
that’s amazing
that outlet

– – – –

no matter if
you are great
it shall be your loss
if and maybe why
not sure what to think
calming myself
reeling my thoughts in
not worth it really
too much to explore
can’t hold on to your spot
see how it plays
numbered days
blerch

what can you offer me
besides that sense of security
that tall glass of eye candy
nothing else really
adventure…eh
love…eh
sex…hmm
exactly
so there is much to be proven
until then
don’t get too comfortable boo
get ready for a fight
prize of your life
mm okay thanks bye

– – – –

treasure map
have you finally gathered snack and supplies
hunting in that city of ours
first ever exchange

– – – –

big ol’ grey cloud
what are you up to
What are you thinking
what do you do
my curiosity gets the best of me
i know there’s warnings
shall tread carefully
arms length
don’t mind the fire
hope not to get burned
reveal yeself!

– – – –

i reminisce
for the thousandth time i swear
the last tangle
fitting so perfectly in yours
your fingertips traced over my skin
marking itself ever so familiarly
playing the keys to the tunes of my soul
the touch of magic
you have

i fucking miss
the thought of you
the texts of you
the smiles of you
the smell of you
lingering
never forgotten
connected through the cloud of sound
forever and more

lost in you no longer
i should be glad
a tad i guess
sanity > it all

– – – –

cheerio proposal
i know what you want
i am unable to fulfill that position right now
my bad for peeling the old wound
its truly unfair
my head clearly knows
how perfect you’d treat me
unready for that
that step is big
too big for us at the moment
my apologies

– – – –

nineteen months
can it be?
anticipating
might be light and fun
comfort at the least
see ya thursday!

– – – –

so much media
too much
too fucking much
someone something somewhere
telling you
who to be
what to think
no room for self growth

UGH

i know the inevitable
i don’t want to complain
i can’t say i am completely free of

BUT F U C K

how can i avoid
take the first steps of my path
completely out of the box
never the first
can it be
born dis da hipsters
weird loop
unsolvable loop
the only one i am responsible for is
me, myself and i

center and stand tall
do my best
live my life
let all else flow on

– – – –

all these distractions
all these males
just need to remind myself
of the one criteria

you must be passionate about me

no passion
no go
not settling for anything less
oh, the ease
i got this
reminded!

– – – –

keep reading
keep praticing
that unconditional love
keep searching
keep experiencing

all the pieces falling together
all once so broken
falling back together so perfectly

believe in me
take me higher
i love this life
i love my life

– – – –

twinsie
matching
all day
all night

this soul twin of mine
unlike any other i have met
her individuality
leads me gently to inspire me
gives me space to grow into my own
some sort of opposites
but we work
hey
like magic on ice
no sense but what sense to life really

this trip
we made it our own
we made it one of the bests
another city to add to the books
so many more adventures to come

the best duo
you’ve got to show me love
pillow fights
i got handled
snapchat noobies
natural conversationalists
instant moments
imperfectly perfect moments
all the moments
recorded
remembered

woo
you’s it

a i n i

carousel 

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round and round
we go
will i catch up to love
i could never tell

come
come on
come all

oh come take my hand
so high
too high at this playground of mine

all fun and games
til one falls in love
you’ve already bought the ticket
no turning back now

– – – –

master of time
reconfirmed
sexy hands
that natural vibe
so free flowing
feels really nice
so much giggles
we look nice

pretty darn sexy
in your arms i feel
pretty darn enticed
within your aura don’t you know

i like
attracted
buckle up
ride

– – – –

whites
the purest
most innocent

want to show you the world
want to hold your hand to explore

my proposal
best kind of experience
hope you will be on board

i wana guide you
i wana play you
i wana feel you

don’t resist
trust me and lets go

– – – –

twisted noon
feelings fading
maybe never
sigh

– – – –

big ole grey cloud
tis’ you
i felt
intuition on fleek
not about that life
all kinds of hidden agendas
not down to play
no game
boohoo
to find what you’re looking for
might take a weeeeee big longer
so long precious
le void you filled
appreciated

– – – –

new little life
year of change
grateful for it all
how big changes you’ll bring
i love you already
you little baby boo
get bigger safe and sound
await your arrival
welcome to this world

– – – –

countless days of sobriety
countless days of happiness
so fucking clear
it all

free to dream
free to do
free to create
nothing to stop me now

refocus
re-read
one more month of cruising
before speeding straight into life
this life
amazing it has been

i love
i laugh
i live

T H A N K F U L

wonder

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The greatest of human emotions is love. The most valuable of human gifts is the ability to learn. Therefore, learn to love. –UJ Ramdas

i wonder
what it takes
for my papa bear
to figure this simple concept out
complexity
seems to be the theme
ever-changing
instability

i
planted seeds
seeds of thought
hoping for that silver lining
hoping that it is not too late

that sense of loneliness
that sight of hopelessness
what has led you to this
series of unfortunate decisions

little voices
i do regret
not staying and fight it out
i mustn’t guilt
i needed my sanity
i needed to become who i am right now
to be the rock they need
in time as such

this is heavy
heavier than accustomed
i foresee lots of directions
i felt weird things

its my time to give back
sending my parentals the best
unconditional love
from their blood their heart

my mama bear
how i cringe
at the person he made you be
how much you have sacrificed
for him and the rest
i understand
i promise not to let you down
pride in me
i assure you
i will take you above and beyond
bring you inner peace
expose you to more beautiful scapes
better angles of life

– – – –

i
have so much
fucking feelings
emotions
overloading my tear ducts
flooding my cheeks
fogging my brain

last day is the hardest
night is darkest before dawn

my whole journey has led me to this
to this peak of reality
i won’t shy away
i am fucking ready
to battle this out
with the love i have for my family
alongside my bloods

keep bettering myself
be swifter than the rest
must glue us together
the destiny

– – – –

one day away
one year anniversary
version two point oh
evolving into version two point one
as i type
the deepest of my neurowaves
this outlet i have
make the best of
odd talent i have

dont stop
c r e a te